We first heard from Pamela Nickel Williams here at the Underground Bunker four years ago, when she shared with us some writing from a planned book about how her parents were among the first Dianetics adherents and raised her in the strange world of early Scientology.
Now, Pamela’s book is coming out on August 31, and while pre-orders are available, she’s generously shared an excerpt with us. Please enjoy the introduction to her book Clearly Lies Are True, and consider ordering a copy.
I have often and seriously wondered which came first, my family’s insanity or Scientology? Growing up as the daughter of early Scientologists, I sensed how secretive and different my family was from other families that I knew and observed. But as a child, I didn’t understand how my parents’ behavior, including their inability to nurture and care for me, emanated from their Scientology beliefs.
How were my parents’ propensities toward certain thoughts, beliefs and actions exacerbated and fueled by their personal experiences in Scientology? Were my parents genetically wired and pre-destined to suffer from mental health issues and abusive tendencies, or was Scientology the catalyst that activated these pathologies?
Trying to answer these questions, or at least learn how my parents’ beliefs evolved and influenced their actions, has guided my writing and my search for truth, in as much as it can be found. Yet the quest for truth can be an elusive pursuit. Most cults, like Scientology, prey on those who seek promises of healing physical and emotional brokenness. Dogmatic, yet convincing beliefs, and the enticement of spiritual elevation permeate cult mentality, leading many “truth seekers,” like my parents, down a perceived path of enlightenment.
My father, Paul, began his indoctrination, and subsequent journey into Scientology, after purchasing the book, Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health, published by L. Ron Hubbard in 1950. As a teenager, my father had been an avid science fiction fan, reading many of Hubbard’s stories in his favorite magazine, titled Astounding Science Fiction. Eagerly devouring Dianetics, my father read it in one sitting from cover to cover, digesting, and believing every word. The book “spoke to him” in a way that nothing else had. He was hooked!
Living in Wichita, Kansas, my father immediately began participating in Dianetics processing, and he attended many of L. Ron Hubbard’s lectures in the very early days of Scientology at the Wichita Dianetics Foundation. Enamored by Hubbard, he quickly became one of a handful of loyal, faithful believers, and a devoted and dedicated follower. But, just a year after its opening, the Wichita Dianetics Foundation suffered financial issues and mismanagement, leading to its abrupt closure. Subsequently, L. Ron Hubbard packed up, left Wichita, and quickly opened the Founding Church of Scientology in Washington D.C.
In 1957, shortly after my parents were married, they made the choice to follow L. Ron Hubbard, at my father’s insistence, from the Midwest to the East Coast. For the next three years, my mother, Gloria, worked at the Founding Church of Scientology. During this time, my parents both became active members and leaders in the formation of the HAS - Hubbard Association of Scientologists, working closely with L. Ron Hubbard, and his wife, Mary Sue.
With its small, but devoted following, Scientology was growing. Franchises were developing in other cities and membership was expanding, along with L. Ron Hubbard’s bank account. However, tax evasion charges and fraudulent claims were all real, constant, and looming threats against his burgeoning empire.
One such claim occurred while my parents were in Washington D.C. On April 5, 1958, FDA – Food and Drug Administration inspectors visited the Founding Church of Scientology offices and seized 21,000 Dianazene tablets, basically a vitamin pill, which Hubbard had falsely claimed would cure radiation sickness. My mother witnessed the raid, and spoke of it often. As a practicing Scientologist, she sincerely believed it was unjustified. Through her narrow, colored lens, it was tantamount to an attack on her personal beliefs, as well as those of Scientology and L. Ron Hubbard.
But in 1959, the year after I was born, Hubbard left claims such as these far behind him and headed to England to live at Saint Hill Manor, a large mansion nestled in the idyllic English countryside, that he had purchased with his profits from Scientology.
As he planned his departure, Hubbard persuaded some Scientologists, who had been part of the HAS in Washington D.C., to follow him to England. Many other Scientologists, like my parents, who had been a part of Scientology since its inception, were torn by the prospect of moving, especially across the Atlantic Ocean.
This is where my story begins. Through personal accounts of my childhood, and teenage years, multiple narratives emerge and intertwine. These include sexual abuse, at the hands of my father, my parents’ mental and physical health issues, and first-hand accounts of how the adults, who were charged with my well-being, were out of control. As my family unraveled, I share how I learned to adapt and become resilient, ultimately choosing my own identity and path to freedom as a survivor of both sexual abuse and cult mentality.
My timeline of events and lived experiences are true, to the best of my knowledge, as well as referenced Scientology history and factual records that I have included. In sharing my journey, it is my hope, that those who struggle as I have, with familial dysfunction, sexual abuse, and controlling beliefs will find resolution, as well as forgiveness. Wishing you strength and courage in your own personal search to heal, as you accept and discover a path to truth that leads you to the freedom you deserve.
— Pamela Nickel Williams
Bonus items from our tipsters
Sea Org recruiting at Flag…
BRILLIANT EVENT
Last night I attended a Sea Org recruiting event at Flag. It was deeply interesting, and very uplifting. The theme: Tone 40. We learned bits of Scientology and Sea Org history that are not often shared, and are very cool.
This image posted to Scientology Facebook admittedly gives us a limited glimpse of this event over the weekend, but we’re struck by a couple of things.
First, that it appears so empty. But of course this might have been early or late into the evening, we don’t know. But also, what it apparently represents is asking the wealthy Scientologists who have flown in for expensive upper-level services at the Flag Land Base to spend an evening considering whether to sign a billion-year contract and join the ascetic Sea Org — or, perhaps more likely, to consider giving up their kids to a life in the SO.
We’d be very interested for longtime former Scientologists to weigh in on this. Is this an unusual way to recruit for the Sea Org?
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Source Code: Actual things founder L. Ron Hubbard said on this date in history
Avast, Ye Mateys: Snapshots from Scientology’s years at sea
Overheard in the Freezone: Indie Hubbardism, one thought at a time
Past is Prologue: From this week in history at alt.religion.scientology
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Tony, you asked if this recruit event was normal. I never heard of anything like it.
I was recruited for the Sea Org by a mission that obtained my name from records at the San Francisco Organization. They targeted me directly because of my electronics skills. Of course they did the stupid ritual of having the new recruits walk across a raised platform that was supposed to be a gangway to a ship, and I think some public or staff may have been present, but there were no public events otherwise.
Welcome back, Shipmate!
To the end of her life my mother regretted giving my phone number to the recruit mission.
I did go to a recruiting event for the Guardian's Office, with a stirring speech by someone who later escaped, can't recall the name. Vaughn Young maybe? It was in an event venue at a hotel, maybe 300 attendees. Late 70s.
And of course there were many events with Sea Org members from the Flag Land Base or AOLA to drum up advance payments for services.
Now that I think of it though, maybe I did go to a Sea Org recruiting event of sorts. Don Bateman, a Sea Org member from the Apollo days, came to San Francisco Org in around 1974. He played a tape called "Battle of the Universes" which I guess was supposed to inspire us to recall our past lives as :Loyal Officers. I met him again later in the Big Blue and again at the Int Base.
The event described at the Fort Harrison, though, is just pathetic. All those hard-core true believer Scientologist are aging out. Even their kids are not at prime recruiting age anymore. Yesterday's photo of the Sunday Service showed so many of them barely able to walk, let alone run everywhere on the Estates Project Force.
Davey's Fake Navy, his free labor source, is deteriorating rapidly. Someday soon it will cease to be a viable source of income and a net liability. What is the use of free labor if there is nothing profitable for them to do?
Scientology can stumble along for quite some time with just a few loyal followers and piles of cash, but it will not be the horrific satanic force for evil that it once was. More like the Shakers than the Mormons.
Thank you Pamela for taking the time to write your book. I will read it. I’m sure writing it was difficult, but hopefully also therapeutic.
I did have to sit through a SO recruitment film even though I did not qualify for the SO (LSD). My kids were very young then, but I guess they were priming me to donate my kids to the SO. I found the film to be creepy and full of very questionable statements, even then when I was a devout Scientologist. The film backfired because I knew then that I didn’t want my kids to be That Dedicated.