Aging, white, and rich? Scientology can help you with that!

No matter how much Scientology dwindles, isn’t it precious that it still has a geriatric set of space cadets who are young at heart, full of wallet, and who still think their Space Age obsession with science fiction hack L. Ron Hubbard will create a new civilization on earth and on to infinity and beyond?

Bless their hearts.

It’s been a while since we’ve seen one of those loooooooong fliers that Scientology puts together after a Boomer fleecing, and so we’re thankful that one of our helpful readers passed along this one from the good thetans in St. Louis.

The Gateway to the West, the Home of the Cards, Mound City or whatever you call it has a particularly tortured history as far as getting its act together for an Ideal Org, and as far as we can tell they’re not really any closer than they ever have been. But hey, that doesn’t mean they can’t have a hell of a time harpooning their local whales!

For our new folks, Scientology leader David Miscavige began his “Ideal Org” program way back in 2003, with the goal of replacing drab, ordinary “orgs” — for “organizations,” Scientology’s word for churches — with big gleaming high-tech cathedrals that Miscavige claims will cause a land-rush of interest and a flood of new members.

That hasn’t happened, but Scientologists are still under intense pressure to donate huge sums to keep the program going. After a pause for the pandemic, earlier this year some delayed projects were completed and Dave opened new Ideal Orgs in Austin, Mexico City, Chicago, and Paris. It’s looking like the next one to open might be in Puerto Rico.

St. Louis has been on the list forever, and it’s kind of embarrassing that its eternal Missouri rival, Kansas City, beat them to the punch back in 2019. But hey, it takes time to raise what usually amounts to about $25 million for a new Ideal Org, according to former top executive Paul Burkhart.

So how did St. Louis do in this latest go-round? Well, keep in mind that “humanitarian” is Scientology code for $100,000, and “New Civilization Builder” means $1 million in donations.

Yes, that means that someone who is a “39X Humanitarian” has given $3.9 million just to this Ideal Org. That’s some serious paper, people!

Let us know what else stands out for you in this latest dispatch from St. Louis.

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Bonus items from our tipsters

Meanwhile, in Clearwater, who needs date night when you can hear the good news about Obi-Wan Kenobi from Michael Chan!

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Thank you for reading today’s story here at Substack. For the full picture of what’s happening today in the world of Scientology, please join the conversation at tonyortega.org, where we’ve been reporting daily on David Miscavige’s cabal since 2012. There you’ll find additional stories, and our popular regular daily features:

Source Code: Actual things founder L. Ron Hubbard said on this date in history

Avast, Ye Mateys: Snapshots from Scientology’s years at sea

Overheard in the Freezone: Indie Hubbardism, one thought at a time

Past is Prologue: From this week in history at alt.religion.scientology

Random Howdy: Your daily dose of the Captain

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