Former London staffer tells his story: ‘Abuse is fundamental to Scientology’s very nature’

[Today’s guest post is by Alexander Barnes-Ross.]

You can’t leave the room until you’ve written down everything you’ve done wrong. “Have you ever masturbated?” I was asked. “Write down every instance you’ve done this in as much detail as you can: when, where, how many times. Did you watch porn? What type? How long for?”. These were my last few moments in Scientology, and the last time I’d set foot in a Church as a Scientologist in ‘good standing’.

At the age of 19, I was declared a ‘Potential Trouble Source’ and dismissed from my post as Director of Public Booksales at the Church of Scientology in London. Escorted to my desk, and then the door, I was heartbroken: everything I believed in and everyone I’d spent countless hours with, day in, day out, over the preceding months - gone. I was as dedicated as they come: ready to ‘Clear the planet’ and spend my life making the world a better place. And now, as I head to the door one final time, I can’t help but think ‘this just isn’t right.’

I wasn’t born or raised in Scientology. In fact, my parents are far from religious - sending me to a Christian school only because it was local and had the best results in the area. But from my earliest memory, I’ve been a hard worker with an inquisitive mind. As a child, adults would complain I ask “why?” too much; family friends encouraged me to work hard and dream big. ‘You’ll be Prime Minister one day’, they would say.

Perhaps my ambition came from this can-do attitude, or maybe it’s an inflated ego - being told by everyone I met that I’d be good at anything I put my mind to. At school, I excelled in both academic subjects and the arts; I sat exams a year early and left school with 17 GCSEs (for context, the average was 9), 15 of which were A*-B grades. However, I always had a sense that there was more to life. Something bigger than me. Than ‘us’.

When I first saw the BBC Panorama documentary ‘The Secrets of Scientology’ in 2010, I was mystified. Mike Rinder’s sunken eyes and gaunt face reminded me of Christopher Walken; these people clearly had conviction and passion. They were dedicated, and didn’t look at their faith as a laughing matter. I was 15 years old and I was yet to learn Mike’s malnourished appearance was a result of his time in Scientology’s labour camp known as ‘The Hole’.

In one scene, Rinder stands in the door of Scientology’s London ‘Test Centre’ on Tottenham Court Road, defending the Church and denying countless allegations of abuse, alien prophecies and disconnection.. something only a short time later I would be doing myself.

On its continued harassment of critics, Sweeney asks at one point, “Is this how this church goes about its business? An organisation that says it is entitled to be treated as a religion?” - his goal was clearly to present Scientology as a dangerous cult. How could something take such a grip on people’s lives? Create such fanaticism, its members defending their faith with tenacity.. and yet at the same time abuse its followers and rip families apart? As a rebellious teenager, this was not something I was going to walk away from: I wanted to know more. I wanted to know why.

Not wanting to take everything in the media at face value, I wanted to hear the Church’s side of the story. Well-equipped with my own research, and well aware of the manipulative tactics exposed in Panorama, I took myself along to the Church of Scientology on Queen Victoria Street in London. I did a personality test, and gave them a hard time: “what about disconnection?”, I asked.

Something to understand about Scientology’s recruitment tactics is that they have an answer to every single question you may have. I was told ‘it’s a whole misunderstanding. Imagine you were being bullied in school; you wouldn’t want to hang around with those people, would you? So you would naturally decide not to spend time with them. Disconnection in Scientology is just a formal way of doing this, but people have misinterpreted this to mean we break families apart.’

‘The best way to learn about Scientology is to read the scripture. So why don’t you do this course? It’s £39, and there’s no strings attached. You commit to coming to the Org to study for a couple of hours once a week after school, you read the book, you try applying some of the techniques and see if it works for yourself. If it doesn’t work for you, that’s fine. There’s no obligation, and certainly no £-million bills for training like you hear of in the media. What’s the harm?’

Little did I know, this was the start of my indoctrination into Scientology. Despite going in with a critical mind and on the look out for signs of manipulation, over time, it worked. As a teenager I faced all the usual life questions: Who am I? Why am I here, what’s my purpose in life?

Scientology offered hope. Despite the bad press it was a chance: these were nice people that clearly wanted to help me find myself. I had the power to remove myself from the group at any point if I felt I was being manipulated in any way. The problem is, I didn’t realise I was being manipulated.

I was recruited on to staff and by the Summer of 2011 I was working in the Church’s Division 6 selling books and getting new people to join. I was primed for the picking: ‘I’ve heard the ‘black PR’. I was skeptical, and yet I’ve not seen anyone being manipulated or forced to do things they don’t want to do’, I would say.

By 2013, at age 18, I was posted as the Director of Public Book Sales and worked closely with Charlie Wakley as the public face of Scientology in London. Every week, we’d set up Stress Test booths and sell books on Edgware Road. I didn’t know it at the time, but Charlie’s father Nick was one of only a handful of British people who had been abused by David Miscavige himself.

When I was finally kicked out of the Church in 2014, I was declared a Potential Trouble Source (Type D) for complaining about Scientology not working. I was locked in a room and ordered to write up my Overts & Withholds (transgressions) against the Church. Crying, I tried to leave. The Ethics Officer - Charlie’s brother Jason, who now works in Los Angeles as part of the elite ‘Sea Organisation’ - put his hand on the door handle and made it clear that I was not allowed to leave.

I remember pleading with them: all I wanted was for Scientology to work on me, but right now it wasn’t and it was making me upset. It’s astonishing to think how only a few years earlier, I was skeptical and sharp to any signs of coercion - and here I was, begging to stay. The transformation was complete: I was a Scientologist.

It’s taken me almost a decade to process what I went through, a journey of recovery I will likely be on for the rest of my life. However, now I am the one in control. This is my narrative and my life. I now share my stories and give others a platform to do the same on YouTube under the name ‘Apostate Alex’.

Like standing in the doors of the Test Centre on Tottenham Court Road defending the faith, I find myself once again following in Mike Rinder’s footsteps: speaking out and sharing the truth.

Scientology has the power to convince even the most critical of thinkers, it lies to its members and it tears families apart. Scientology is not just a ‘crazy American cult’. it is everywhere and abuse is fundamental to its very nature.

— Alexander Barnes-Ross

---

Back to the retrial

Testimony resumes today at the Danny Masterson retrial in Los Angeles. Jane Doe 2 was in cross-examination we broke for the weekend.

Please check your inboxes as our reports arrive from the courtroom!

---

Want to help?

You can support the Underground Bunker with a Paypal contribution to bunkerfund@tonyortega.org, an account administered by the Bunker’s attorney, Scott Pilutik. And by request, this is our Venmo link, and for Zelle, please use (tonyo94 AT gmail).

---

Thank you for reading today’s story here at Substack. For the full picture of what’s happening today in the world of Scientology, please join the conversation at tonyortega.org, where we’ve been reporting daily on David Miscavige’s cabal since 2012. There you’ll find additional stories, and our popular regular daily features:

Source Code: Actual things founder L. Ron Hubbard said on this date in history

Avast, Ye Mateys: Snapshots from Scientology’s years at sea

Overheard in the Freezone: Indie Hubbardism, one thought at a time

Past is Prologue: From this week in history at alt.religion.scientology

Random Howdy: Your daily dose of the Captain

Here’s the link for today’s post at tonyorteg.org

And whatever you do, subscribe to this Substack so you get our breaking stories and daily features right to your email inbox every morning.

Paid subscribers get access to two special podcast series every week…

Up the Bridge: A weekly journey through Scientology’s actual “technology”

Group Therapy: Our round table of rowdy regulars on the week’s news