How Scientology destroys a family: An exasperating example
Prepare yourself for a brutal story of Scientology manipulation and extortion, carried out for no more reason than totalitarian control of vulnerable people…
Today marks ten years since I last saw my daughter, Julia.
I left Scientology in May of 2010. That same month I was told to “unfriend” two veteran Sea Org members who had “gone to the dark side,” according to the Santa Barbara DSA (local rep of the Office of Special Affairs, Scientology’s secret police), Lee Holzinger.
I contacted them and asked them what happened. They told me about the Tampa Bay Times article “The Truth Rundown.” I then contacted Lee and told him what they said. He provided me with “dead agent” material about the newspaper and told me to report to ASHO Ethics.
I reported to Ethics and was shown the references about how I was becoming a Suppressive Person by being “in comm” with other SP’s. Then I was sent off to work on “conditions.”
Time went on and I tried to just fade away from Scientology. I pretended that I had stopped talking to SP’s, but I had only just begun my search down the rabbit hole of “entheta” and it made a lot more sense to me than what I was being told by Ethics.
It was at that point that I began telling my daughter Julia and my husband Derrick about ‘The Hole’ and other things that I had read about. Derrick got so angry at me for going on the Internet and contacting SP’s that he said. “What’s next, are you going to start protesting with Anonymous?”
Things got so heated between us during this time period because he was insisting I go back to Ethics. I told him I was done and if he couldn’t deal with that fact, then we should get divorced. I could not go back, knowing what I knew at that point. His response was, “are you kidding, you are my wife and I love you.” At which point we came to a mutual agreement that if he wanted to continue with Scientology that was fine as long as he was OK with me not continuing.
Around this time, I contacted Chris Shelton, who I had known from when he was the Sup at Santa Barbara Org (he was also at our wedding). I learned a lot from Chris and he helped me feel a bit more grounded during this time I was peeking behind curtains at the truth.
He referred me to Rachel Bernstein for professional guidance. Imagine a Scientologist picking up the phone to call a psych for help? I did, and I’m forever grateful for her help.
Julia and Derrick continued to go to the Santa Barbar Org together. This is when she learned to drive. She was in 11th grade at the time. She went to the New Year’s Eve event in January 2014 and met Atreyu, the EO at Pasadena Org at the time.
By the end of the month, she decided to drop out of school, go live at Atreyu’s parents house, and join staff at Pasadena Org. When she announced this to us and we said no way. That’s when the yelling and screaming began. We told her that it was not OK because she was on a Project Prepare to join staff at Santa Barbara Org and part of that agreement was that she needed to graduate first. She was also mid co-audit on the Survival Rundown.
She left home in the middle of the night anyway. She dropped out of high school that week. She began her training to become an auditor.
Somehow, to Derrick’s credit he was able to regain civil communication with Julia. Mostly with just “good roads/good weather.”
In September 2015 Derrick thought he had gone Clear, so they wanted him to go to ASHO (in Los Angeles) to do his CCRD. After his last experience at ASHO getting the False Purpose Rundown, he had to get cleaned up on that at Flag (in Clearwater, Florida) because it went so badly. I helped him book his flight to Flag and did a write up for the Flag Master-at-Arms about how I had stopped talking to SP’s, etc.
This was before he even went there. It seemed OK, but then when he got there, they said he could not go onto his CCRD because he had to handle me. He was not happy about that at all.
In November 2015 Derrick was diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon Cancer. Suddenly “handling his wife” was low on his list. Before he began chemo, I set it up for us all to get together for a family portrait. Also, Julia and Atreyu later came up for Thanksgiving.
We continued to maintain friendly relations.
March of 2016, we went on a family vacation to Hawaii. Derrick had just been in the hospital with sepsis, but we all made it and had a wonderful time.
On June 4, 2016 we went to Universal Studios for my youngest son’s 9th birthday. Little did we know that would be the last time we would see Julia.
In July Derrick had surgery on his colon and liver. This was after a full round of chemo to shrink the cancer. He was recovering from that when he was summoned to go to ASHO Ethics about reports Julia had written on us. They also wanted me to go down for an interview. I figured they just wanted to make sure I was cool, not connected to SP’s and such, so that Julia could get onto her CCRD. I went down for an interview and lied through my teeth. They told me I needed to continue with my ethics program from 2010.
I told them I was good, that I had moved on over the six years and I was fine. They insisted. I said. “and if I don’t?” They said then we will “comm ev” you. I said “have fun with that” and walked out.
From August to October 2016 Derrick continued to report into ASHO Ethics. They kept refusing to show him the Knowledge Report Julia wrote on him. Instead, they kept sending him home to “handle” me. He would tell me what they talked about each time and then I’d tell him what they would require him to do next.
After about four or five times of him going down there, he started to see that what I was telling him was true. He even said to them “you know Tammy told me you would say that.” Finally, he got really pissed and told them he wanted the KR’s he was promised. They said he’d have to come down with me to get both of the KR’s. I agreed, but I told Derrick that they would try to separate us when we got down there. When we were walking through the parking lot holding hands, I said. “together we stand, divided we fall.” We were in agreement.
That’s exactly what they tried to do. At first, he refused, but then he gave in. They wanted me to read a list of references which I could recite verbatim, so instead I went to talk to the Chaplain, who was Ken Hoden at the time. Nice guy, but had no power by that time.
They held Derrick in a room for four hours. He had just been treated for C-diff and was very ill. He refused a meter check due to being ill. The Dir I&R said, “You can be declared for refusing a meter check.” Derrick said, “Do you know how the meter reacts on someone who has been through chemo?” That shut her up and they let him go. I was waiting in the hallway when he came out. He looked at me and said, “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”
In November ASHO Ethics called Derrick down to let him know they were calling a comm ev on both of us. Within a day or two, every Scientologist Derrick knew had unfriended him on Facebook. I had already taken preemptive steps to unfriend all Scientology friends two years earlier. That night I asked Derrick if he was finally willing to look at a few things. He said, “I’m not going to look at anything on the Internet.” I said. “I understand, here’s a story I’d like you to read.” I handed him Lois Reisdorf’s story which I had printed out from Mike Rinder’s site.
I didn’t tell him I got it from the Internet. Her story was so much like ours that he was blown away. Over the next few days, I began showing him more information. We would read The Underground Bunker and Mike Rinder’s site every day and talk about what we read.
We were both comm ev’d with the F&R’s coming out in 2017. I had my husband back and he was on my side. We were united in trying to reconnect with Julia. She sent a disconnection letter to us after the F&R’s came out saying, “I see you both have a program…” Barf.
The years 2017 to 2021 were a blur. Most of our attention was on Derrick beating cancer. We also took that time to go to many concerts and vacations. He retired from being a journeyman electrician in 2018. By 2019 he was running out of options for treatments. I was able to contact the MAA at ASHO to send Julia a message that her dad was going in for risky treatments and he wanted to see her just in case he didn’t make it.
She came up and met with him alone at a coffee shop in Nov 2019.
I begged Derrick to let Julia know that he was out of Scientology. This was an argument I would lose. He wanted to be able to say his goodbyes to her. If he told her he was out, she’d not have those final days with him. I could not begrudge either of them their final goodbyes, but it left me being the bad guy. So not fair.
In December 2020, Derrick went onto Hospice. Again, I jumped through hoops to reach Julia to let her know the situation. The MAA allowed her to call him to talk with him. By that time Julia had broken up with Atreyu and moved to Clearwater with her husband-to-be, Orr Pilo.
Julia would call her dad, he would often miss her calls, because by that time he was heavily drugged and confined to bed. He was so weak the last time she called that I had to prop the phone up for him. I knew this was the last time they would talk. They were still talking good roads stuff, so I put a note in front of Derrick and told him to let her know this may be the last time they talked. He then told her he was fading fast and asked if she had anything she wanted to say. She cried and told him how much she loved him.
I was crying too. That was their last conversation. He died on March 13, 2021. I had to let her know via his email that he passed. She responded by saying thanks for taking care of dad. That was the last time I heard from her.
I would like to add that over all this time I continued to send letters, gifts, pictures, and updates on family. It was like I was trying to come up with the ultimate cheer that would reach her. Crickets.
There’s no going back to good roads, good weather with Julia. Especially with my name penned to so many comments on Tony’s site, lol.
She cannot communicate with anyone else in the family because they all know about Scientology being a cult. The only way she will be able to talk to anyone in her family again would be if she left Scientology. Right now, she’s on OT 7. My only hope is that she’s just as disappointed as others were when they reached that pinnacle.
The last thing I did was send her Russell Miller’s book. No more good roads, good weather for me. That has not worked. Julia is smart, sassy, and strong. If I can make it out, so can she.
— Tammy Synovec
Survivors speaking out at UK event this weekend
Our friend ‘Apostate Alex’ Barnes-Ross has organized an event featuring speakers who will reveal what they went through at Scientology’s UK headquarters, Saint Hill Manor, in East Grinstead, England.
Go to Alex’s site to get more information about this event, taking place on Saturday!
The HowdyCon agenda update!
We’re excited to announce Geoff Levin will be joining us as a speaker at this year’s HowdyCon. His documentary, Brothers Broken was recently released on all major streaming platforms and we’re looking forward to hearing from him in September.
The agenda has been updated to reflect Geoff’s addition to the line up, which you can view here.
Second release tickets will be available soon. If you missed out on the first round, make sure you join the waitlist to be first in the know.
And finally, HowdyCon 2026 is being organized in support of the Michael J. Rinder Aftermath Foundation. We’ll be holding a silent auction to raise funds and we’re looking for items Bunker readers would be willing to donate. Whether it’s an old e-meter or handmade jewelry, if you’d like to contribute send us an email.
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Tammy, thank you for giving us your story. I can relate as I lost my son and daughter in 2018. The 24/7 stress created by Scientology is unimaginable to non-members. That’s why I keep speaking out. That’s why I spent 7 years producing my documentary Brothers Broken. You’ve motivated me to write my experiences regarding my children disconnecting from me. I can honestly say, I feel your pain. A yet we can move on and grow and that’s also my focus. And my dream is that the Scientology organization finally explodes.
Thank you Tammy for sharing this story here. You're a wonderful writer. I hope someday you're able to add a happier epilogue around Julia and you.