Scientology breakthrough: Finally, after 74 years, a solution for clamminess

We’re just a week out now from Scientology’s big rendezvous in East Grinstead, England, when the church’s biggest donors will be assembling to pick up their bowling trophies from leader David Miscavige.

And while we wait to hear about that gathering — and the welcome Miscavige will be getting from Apostate Alex and this year’s demonstrations by ex-Scientologists outside the gates — we’re still seeing promotional material coming out of Saint Hill itself.

Founder L. Ron Hubbard’s former home has really seemed to step up its marketing game in recent months as it tries to convince Scientologists to make the trip to the English countryside. There they will find expensive and arcane processes and auditing before they then head off to the Flag Land Base in Clearwater, Florida for even higher-level stuff.

This newest testimonial is extremely good news for those of you who have wondered if you will ever get over your fear of driving on the motorway and nervousness while scaling sheer mountain rock faces with technical gear. Finally, a key demographic gets its due.

But we are rejoicing mostly because Ron would no doubt be so chuffed to learn that finally, more than 70 years after the publication of his books Dianetics and A History of Man, that a Scientology solution has been found for clamminess.

Check it out.

Full Control

The day after I completed New OT V I did a seven hour drive. Now, I have never ever been a fan of the motorway, in fact my body would totally tense up the entire time I was on the road. I’d be checking the child locks every five seconds and only ever going in the slow lane.

I started my journey and I couldn’t believe it, the clamminess, the terror stomach, the awful feeling that we would end up on the side of the motorway - every ounce of it was gone and I was able to just drive.

And for the first time in my life at the motorway speed limit, I was able to simply enjoy the ride.

The other win I had was the change I experienced with heights. I don’t have many fears but heights have definitely been a big issue for me. Particularly where my children have been involved.

I decided to go with my daughter onto a mountain side and scale it. For two and a half hours with only two metal clips between us and the mountain side.

Certain threat was DEFINITELY involved. But I was in control – full control and not only that I wasn’t experiencing a sickening fear, not in the slightest. I was facing it and I was free.

These examples showed me a glimpse of the fact that after New OT V my life is fully different. I am so different and I will bravely face a situation I was previously unable to handle or even confront.

On New OT V, my experience of life has become such a pleasure. Even down to the smallest things like watching my children on the trampoline chatting together and showing me their moves, can bring about so much happiness. I see and feel life in a state I haven’t experienced before.

Then there is the other side to it, I suddenly see how much responsibility needs to be taken for this planet, how much rests on our shoulders as a team. It is a very raw feeling to be experiencing life with so much of me again.

Understanding that some are not able to have this really puts your hat on to help others experience life properly once more, with so much more of their theta intact.

While I’ve been on the OT levels, I’ve been looking at the abilities gained on the Grade Chart, the ability gained for New OT V is ready for Solo NOTs. I know with certainty that I am getting on Solo NOTs – the flights are already booked!

I am excited to go to Flag with my whole family. When I am on Solo NOTs and back home, I will continue training and work on my long term purpose of setting up a field group.

What do you think? Do you think the average Scientologist would consider this a tempting invitation to do their mid-OT levels at Ron’s former home?

And for our newer readers, we should probably explain why we found it rather exciting to see a Scientologist referring to clamminess.

Once L. Ron Hubbard turned from leading his followers to recovering their memories of being in the womb and then experiencing birth (Dianetics) to then going farther back in the past to recover memories of past lives (Scientology), with the help of his son L. Ron Hubbard Jr. (“Nibs” and later Ron DeWolfe) in 1952 he put together a bizarre manual to help auditors understand the kinds of things people would be remembering if they went back millions or billions of years into the past.

Hubbard sort of generally accepted the idea of evolution, so if the ancestors of human beings had only emerged in the last couple of million years, what were thetans — the immortal, soul-like beings we actually are — doing on this planet before that?

Hubbard proposed that a few hundred million years ago, for example, with no humans to inhabit, thetans would have gone through a clam stage, inhabiting various species of mollusks with fanciful names he gave them such as Boo-hoos and Weepers.

We had a lot of fun going over this stuff with University of Minnesota professor PZ Myers back in 2013.

“For a book purportedly about human evolution and history, there is almost no history presented anywhere in the book, and what little there is is without exception completely wrong. Dead wrong. Not one correct statement anywhere, in either fact or principle,” Myers told us. Good times.

Still, it’s good to know that hundreds of millions of years after the clam stage, Scientologists at Saint Hill have finally found a solution for clamminess.

This planet will be cleared in no time!

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Bonus items from our tipsters

Pasadena’s Ideal Org goes for broke.

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Source Code: Actual things founder L. Ron Hubbard said on this date in history

Avast, Ye Mateys: Snapshots from Scientology’s years at sea

Overheard in the Freezone: Indie Hubbardism, one thought at a time

Past is Prologue: From this week in history at alt.religion.scientology

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