For years we were hearing that it was coming: David Miscavige was going to launch a Scientology TV channel. It finally happened on March 12, 2018 with a remarkable few minutes of Miscavige himself broadcasting from the Flag Building in Clearwater.
And then it immediately settled into a 24-hour stream of unwatchable Scientology propaganda.
The unrelenting infomercial style of Scientology TV wasn’t even worth making fun of, and we remember the pain experienced by YouTubers vainly sitting through it for comedy material.
Scientology TV was a massive disappointment, but it’s been going around the clock for six years now with almost zero impact on other media, the press, or the culture in any way.
But Miscavige is not the type to admit that he ever made a bad move, and so his Ideal Org program and his DirecTV channel will go on, even as Scientology’s membership dwindles and his buildings sit emptier and emptier.
Tonight, Scientology TV is debuting a new “season,” which means the episodes that have been on repeat forever will get swapped out for a new set of the same type, with lots of drone shots and GoPro footage of young people doing extreme sports intercut with scenes of young Scientology staffers looking like Olive Garden waiters laughing and pretending that they’re having a good time and not crying inside that they’re making less than minimum wage and haven’t talked to mom in years.
The one exception to this endless river of effluent are some documentaries that are shown because their filmmakers are desperate to get someone, anyone, to see their work. The filmmakers even sit for interviews at the Scientology Media Productions compound in Hollywood, and we’ve highlighted some of them in the past. And yes, some of them have regretted selling their souls to the Xenu crew.
Anyway, Dave put out a trailer for tonight’s new season, and we thought you might want to get a look at it.
One thing that strikes us is how, over the last few years, NFL Hall of Famer Marshall Faulk is becoming more and more a part of Dave’s stable of shills.
For years we’ve noted his involvement in Scientology’s front group, Drug Free World, which wants to give the impression that it is fighting the abuse of illicit drugs, but is actually promoting Scientology’s wacky and dangerous lobbying against any pharmaceuticals, prescription or non-prescription, licit or illicit.
For a while, we tended only to hear about Faulk around time for the Super Bowl, when he would get himself interviewed on sports shows and bring up Drug Free World.
But now, Miscavige has been highlighting the former running back more and more. Miscavige, for example, made Faulk a focus of his speech at the IAS gala in East Grinstead, England in November. A sample…
Turns out Marshall, an avid golfer, had seen [Drug Free World] at event after event, and curiosity finally got the better of him. And so came his first introduction to the program. It immediately struck a chord for the fact he had seen so many youth lost to drugs while growing up in the projects of New Orleans. So he fully engages himself, reading and viewing all campaign materials, at which point he is next contacting Drug Free World with a proposition as direct as it gets: I think you guys need to make me the national spokesperson. And he announces it with his own personalized card, complete with a quick response code and linking right to the campaign homepage with his own gift of the booklet and online course. With that Marshall sets the game plan: whenever I do an event, Drug Free World is there.
And now, Faulk is a major part of the promotion for the new season at Scientology TV, perhaps the first recognizable “celebrity” to make such an appearance. But will it make a difference? Will anyone start watching this propaganda stream, and will it ever start to get some press attention or notice at large?
Let us know what you think.
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Source Code: Actual things founder L. Ron Hubbard said on this date in history
Avast, Ye Mateys: Snapshots from Scientology’s years at sea
Overheard in the Freezone: Indie Hubbardism, one thought at a time
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Even the scientology superbowl ads were too long to watch. I made an executive decision that I had no interest in the pablum and moved on with my day. More parishioners money wasted.
Pretty snappy production! Hit a good number of emotional buttons. If I was a young troubled, naive person (instead of an 80 year old escapee) and wasn't too depressed to get off my butt and do something about it, I might check it out.
Loved your 'river of effluent' phrase re their documentaries...3 words that say it all. :)