VIDEO: This right here is why Scientology is going to clear the planet, you doubters

Dec 11, 2022

On Wednesday we shared a slick new Scientology video that’s intended to get church members to spend lots of money by coming to Clearwater, Florida so they can run around a lighted pole until they hallucinate.

Today, we have another new video that Scientology has intended for its own members, and not for the rest of us.

The point of this video is to encourage Scientologists to pay for a special set of experiences so they can become “auditors.” Auditing is Scientology’s version of counseling, and it’s done with an “E-meter.” Only those who have paid thousands of dollars for training on the E-meter can be auditors, and it takes an enormous commitment to learning the “standard technology” (highly detailed and specific instructions written by founder L. Ron Hubbard).

Thus the video’s play on the word “technology” using a set of good-looking and diverse young… Scientologists, really? Or actors? (We’d wager on the latter.)

Hey, with that crew of hipsters, this planet ought to be cleared in no time!

Now, we hate to rain on Scientology leader David Miscavige’s parade here, but it was our impression that under Miscavige the training of new auditors had largely fallen by the wayside. So we called up Mike Rinder, who keeps a closer eye on that kind of thing than we do.

We asked him, isn’t it true that under founder L. Ron Hubbard, the emphasis had been on selling books, bringing in new people, and training new auditors. But under Miscavige the emphasis on training of auditors had become much less of a priority?

“Oh, absolutely. Miscavige’s emphasis has been make money, buy property, and now it’s train executives,” Mike told us.

As to that last item, he’s referring to the new “Ideal Orgs” that Miscavige has opened around the world, and that Miscavige seems determined to have executives get special training to try and turn those orgs into roaring successes. (But there’s no evidence that it’s working.)

“They have all these training programs for executives. I got something yesterday that said Chicago has 28 people in training. What? They can’t even open their building!” Mike added.

“The thing that is also significant about Miscavige and the training of auditors,” Mike continued, “in the world of Scientology, the [Saint Hill Special] Briefing Course is the ultimate training course. Hubbard said of it, that’s where the ‘Dukes of the Auditing Elite’ are trained. He kept insisting that the Briefing Course is the most important thing in Scientology. Everybody was supposed to be a Briefing Course graduate. And Miscavige just shit-canned it! And nobody seems to say anything about that.”

So if the SHSBC has been discontinued, what’s the point of advertising to public (non-employee) Scientologists to come to the Flag Land Base to get auditor training? (The video was linked from a code in a magazine specifically for the base in Florida, even though the video itself was clearly shot in Los Angeles.)

“They’re just trying to round up people any way they can,” Rinder says. “I don’t know who the public is for this. It used to be Flag auditor training is what Orgs sent their staff to do. Training of public Scientologists was done in local orgs and Saint Hills.”

Mike suspects that there is little need for auditor training at Flag, but the reason we’re seeing slick new videos like this now has less to do with the audience it’s aimed at, and more to do with the Scientology video units making them.

“They don’t have anything to do with all these facilities and all these people who make videos. Like the one you posted last week about the Cause Resurgence Rundown, which was ridiculous. It didn’t say anything. It was just slick video and slick editing.”

The video units may simply have a lot of time on their hands, Mike points out.

“They’re not doing any events. Those video facilities used to be used for event videos, but they aren’t doing any events anymore. They haven’t made any Freedom Medal award winner videos in like three years. They don’t have anything to do.”

And he says that as slick as the new video is, it’s unlikely to have much of an effect.

“That video isn’t likely to get anyone to go do training at Flag. That’s a very expensive proposition, because you have to go live there. If you’re a public, you can’t live in the ten-to-a-room hotels,” he says, referring to cheap motels where Sea Org members are crammed in tiny spaces. For ‘publics’ going to the Flag Land Base, it means expensive lodging and other costs that a long stay would entail. And training to become an auditor would take weeks or months.

So there are very few people who might see this and actually decide to go to Flag and pay huge amounts to become auditors.

But hey, that’s a good-looking mod squad you got there, Dave!

Thank you for reading today’s story here at Substack. For the full picture of what’s happening today in the world of Scientology, please join the conversation at, where we’ve been reporting daily on David Miscavige’s cabal since 2012. There you’ll find additional stories, and our popular regular daily features:

Source Code: Actual things founder L. Ron Hubbard said on this date in history

Avast, Ye Mateys: Snapshots from Scientology’s years at sea

Overheard in the Freezone: Indie Hubbardism, one thought at a time

Past is Prologue: From this week in history at alt.religion.scientology

Random Howdy: Your daily dose of the Captain

Here’s the link for today’s post at

And whatever you do, subscribe to this Substack so you get our breaking stories and daily features right to your email inbox every morning…