I was down in the reception area at the Int Base one day when Peter Schless got a call that one of his parents had passed. He rushed down to take the call (we did have an internal phone system that could route external calls, but any family calls have to be taken in the presence of a security guard).
He was suffering from "misemotion" as anyone would. But then we found out it was not for him, someone got the names mixed up. He immediately felt better and made the comment that it shows that Hubbard was right about emotions. We just make them up as we go along.
Possibly that is how Hubbard worked, being a narcissistic sociopath and all that, but it doesn't work that way for most of us.
You might go on the meter and use repetition to desensitize your grief, tell the story, find the first moment you knew it was true, go into earlier similar stories all the way back to Arslycus.
You would walk away smiling just hours later.
But have you grieved for your loved one? Or just pushed it all under to resurface later as some self-destructive behavior? Will you need to grieve in earnest decades later?
As far as I know, Peter is still at the Int Base. No longer on the wings of love, to be sure.
The was personally emotional. I missed so many life events while in Scientology and the Sea Org. Just another list of regrets i had because of getting involved with that ugly group.
Emotional is good. Being a robot is bad. Looking back, it’s hard to remember what was so important about staying based on the magnitude of what was missed.
So true. Btw-i got into Scientology at the SLC mission in 1985. I started at the one on 2nd East and 4th south just before they moved to 1931 s 1100 e in Sugarhouse. Even funnier fact, my friends Real Estate Co, The Perry Group is located in the 1931 S office.
There was a time, after I got myself out of scientology, that I recognized my inability to experience emotion.
My solution was to find those things in my life that I had lost, the memories of people and things I had lost and had never let my self experience grief or sorrow or regret. Things and people I had discarded over scientology, paths I had never taken. So I deliberately thought of those things and mentally got in touch with those things, those memories and made a point of reaching the sorrow and grief and loss that I had shut off and denied. I let myself feel it all. I felt it. I cried and felt the sorrow and the loss until I had really experienced what I had denied. It took a while. But at the end, it seemed like I had regained experiencing loss and sorrow and compassion. I felt I finally had gone through what I had shut off. It has left me knowing I can feel grief and outrage and compassion and all the emotions of life freely. Not as some codified and numbered scale from a psychopathic conman designed for his control of his minions.
The tone scale is ridiculous. In a good day, you can find yourself experiencing a plethora of emotions. Why would you want a piece of paper identifying each breath you take?
Great post, Val. I couldn't agree more about mourning the loss of loved connections. You make a really important point re: the damage caused by blocking the experience of grief and degrading it to a "misemotion" when, in fact, it's the exact right emotion.
LRH wasn't big on dealing with matters of the HEART. HEART things were dev-t. Making easily controlled automatons was more up his alley. His tone scale was used as a way to identify others in order to manipulate others. Scn is NOT the answer for humanity. How can it propose to 'clear the planet' when it dismisses the fact that people are HUMAN BEINGS. Scn ERASES HUMAN beings! LRH was a SCIENCE FICTION writer for god's sake! He made his living creating aliens with supernatural abilities programed into them. They were his favorite 'people'! And he continued to do so as long as we let him. Please let's NOT forget his favorite BTs...from which (whom?) he made millions of $$$$$!
'Case gain' without dealing with how a person was raised THIS LIFE TIME shapes all of us but didn't seem to be important to LRH. We can pretend that dealing with those 'earlier similars' resolves various issues...because that's what we were SUPPOSED to believe! (OR ELSE!) BUT those pesky human emotions and reactions still live inside.
LONG LIVE COMPASSION, EMPATHY, LAUGHING AND LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST...HUGS!
Valerie got right to the heart of what’s toxic about Scientology. The words compassion, empathy and love do not exist in Hubbards world. The insanity of labeling emotions with a number so as to categorize good and bad emotions very simply got people to buy into discarding their humanity.
And death scares the s—t out of Scientologists. That’s not my opinion that’s the truth. Look where it is on the Tone Scale.
Thank you Valerie for another deeply personal and thought provoking article. It reminded me of how I acted when my parents died. I was still in the cult at that time.
Val has a way of bringing in everyone who reads her prose and getting them in the situation. Valerie's 'mis-emotion' and being 'griefy' is just a part of being in a family. When you care for someone, they are part of your family. That is how human's are built.
The fact that the Co$ wants you to be so totally in thrall to the dead words of Lroon that they are your no emotion family is just bewildering to me. Humans are built to take care of each other and love each other. Something that Lroon never seems to have understood. Or maybe he did understand that, he just wanted all of his minions to see him as 'father' and 'mother' and tirelessly labor for him in every moment of their lives.
Thank you, Ms Ross. You are an excellent writer. I was in for 15 years, 1993 - 1989. Superliterate Class 5 C/S, Flag trained fully hatted ED of the Ottawa, Canada org. None of that means more to me than what I've just read.
So true, Val, so so true.
I was down in the reception area at the Int Base one day when Peter Schless got a call that one of his parents had passed. He rushed down to take the call (we did have an internal phone system that could route external calls, but any family calls have to be taken in the presence of a security guard).
He was suffering from "misemotion" as anyone would. But then we found out it was not for him, someone got the names mixed up. He immediately felt better and made the comment that it shows that Hubbard was right about emotions. We just make them up as we go along.
Possibly that is how Hubbard worked, being a narcissistic sociopath and all that, but it doesn't work that way for most of us.
You might go on the meter and use repetition to desensitize your grief, tell the story, find the first moment you knew it was true, go into earlier similar stories all the way back to Arslycus.
You would walk away smiling just hours later.
But have you grieved for your loved one? Or just pushed it all under to resurface later as some self-destructive behavior? Will you need to grieve in earnest decades later?
As far as I know, Peter is still at the Int Base. No longer on the wings of love, to be sure.
Desensitized emotions come back to bite you. It’s ok to grieve. So many broken minds because of the “tech”.
The was personally emotional. I missed so many life events while in Scientology and the Sea Org. Just another list of regrets i had because of getting involved with that ugly group.
Emotional is good. Being a robot is bad. Looking back, it’s hard to remember what was so important about staying based on the magnitude of what was missed.
So true. Btw-i got into Scientology at the SLC mission in 1985. I started at the one on 2nd East and 4th south just before they moved to 1931 s 1100 e in Sugarhouse. Even funnier fact, my friends Real Estate Co, The Perry Group is located in the 1931 S office.
PS- the photo Tony posted. I knew almost all those people.
Front row left to right-
Janet Weiland, X, Kay Romeo, Joyce Meyers, Yvonne Jentzch, Sam Loria, Dale Benson, me, Janet Myers, Tristan Romeo
Back row left to right, X as I don’t have all the names-
Geoffrey Lewis, X, Glenis Batley(Lewis), X, Ty Dillard, X, X, X, X, Margaret George, Myron Ruderman, X, X, X, Mac Graham
Kay Romeo was one of the mission holders who got me into Scientology.
I loved Yvonne. She transcended the inhumanity Hubbard encouraged in people. And she got so many people into Scientology or kept them in.
Yvonne was indescribably amazing. It’s a shame she was wasted on Scientology.
Isn't Janet Myers the same person as Jan Eastgate of CCHR fame?
There was a time, after I got myself out of scientology, that I recognized my inability to experience emotion.
My solution was to find those things in my life that I had lost, the memories of people and things I had lost and had never let my self experience grief or sorrow or regret. Things and people I had discarded over scientology, paths I had never taken. So I deliberately thought of those things and mentally got in touch with those things, those memories and made a point of reaching the sorrow and grief and loss that I had shut off and denied. I let myself feel it all. I felt it. I cried and felt the sorrow and the loss until I had really experienced what I had denied. It took a while. But at the end, it seemed like I had regained experiencing loss and sorrow and compassion. I felt I finally had gone through what I had shut off. It has left me knowing I can feel grief and outrage and compassion and all the emotions of life freely. Not as some codified and numbered scale from a psychopathic conman designed for his control of his minions.
The tone scale is ridiculous. In a good day, you can find yourself experiencing a plethora of emotions. Why would you want a piece of paper identifying each breath you take?
Great post, Val. I couldn't agree more about mourning the loss of loved connections. You make a really important point re: the damage caused by blocking the experience of grief and degrading it to a "misemotion" when, in fact, it's the exact right emotion.
thankyou so much for writing this.
All your writings are so genuine and such important truth.
Hubbard had no business making this Scientology operation, and it is drenched with dead Hubbard's mental ill health.
Thanks for the beautiful account, Valerie.
LRH wasn't big on dealing with matters of the HEART. HEART things were dev-t. Making easily controlled automatons was more up his alley. His tone scale was used as a way to identify others in order to manipulate others. Scn is NOT the answer for humanity. How can it propose to 'clear the planet' when it dismisses the fact that people are HUMAN BEINGS. Scn ERASES HUMAN beings! LRH was a SCIENCE FICTION writer for god's sake! He made his living creating aliens with supernatural abilities programed into them. They were his favorite 'people'! And he continued to do so as long as we let him. Please let's NOT forget his favorite BTs...from which (whom?) he made millions of $$$$$!
'Case gain' without dealing with how a person was raised THIS LIFE TIME shapes all of us but didn't seem to be important to LRH. We can pretend that dealing with those 'earlier similars' resolves various issues...because that's what we were SUPPOSED to believe! (OR ELSE!) BUT those pesky human emotions and reactions still live inside.
LONG LIVE COMPASSION, EMPATHY, LAUGHING AND LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST...HUGS!
As evidenced by his response to Quentin’s death.
Valerie got right to the heart of what’s toxic about Scientology. The words compassion, empathy and love do not exist in Hubbards world. The insanity of labeling emotions with a number so as to categorize good and bad emotions very simply got people to buy into discarding their humanity.
And death scares the s—t out of Scientologists. That’s not my opinion that’s the truth. Look where it is on the Tone Scale.
Thank you Valerie for another deeply personal and thought provoking article. It reminded me of how I acted when my parents died. I was still in the cult at that time.
Val has a way of bringing in everyone who reads her prose and getting them in the situation. Valerie's 'mis-emotion' and being 'griefy' is just a part of being in a family. When you care for someone, they are part of your family. That is how human's are built.
The fact that the Co$ wants you to be so totally in thrall to the dead words of Lroon that they are your no emotion family is just bewildering to me. Humans are built to take care of each other and love each other. Something that Lroon never seems to have understood. Or maybe he did understand that, he just wanted all of his minions to see him as 'father' and 'mother' and tirelessly labor for him in every moment of their lives.
Nope. He got angry that Quentin made him look bad by dying. Mary Sue got it right until she had to hide it.
Thank you, Ms Ross. You are an excellent writer. I was in for 15 years, 1993 - 1989. Superliterate Class 5 C/S, Flag trained fully hatted ED of the Ottawa, Canada org. None of that means more to me than what I've just read.
That means a lot to me. All those pieces of paper I got in scientology were worthless. What I regained afterwards is so much more valuable.
Thank you, Val.
This gets right at the heart of it.