Here's our story about Nancy Cartwright that Scientology doesn't want you to see
On Monday, we had a bit of a bombshell here at the Underground Bunker that had nothing to do with the Danny Masterson retrial, which we’ve been covering in Los Angeles since April 17.
We had received images from Scientology’s latest issue of Impact magazine, the publication the church uses to congratulate its big donors for turning over huge sums of money.
In particular, this issue was celebrating some wealthy members at the New Year’s event held at the Fort Harrison Hotel in Clearwater, Florida.
And among those generous donors was none other than Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson, who this time was being named “Patron Excalibur With Honors,” which, based on our years of covering the benefactors of the International Association of Scientologists, suggests a cumulative total of $21 million in donations.
And even better, the magazine featured a photo of Nancy with her new trophy and with Scientology’s leader, the diminutive David Miscavige.
Well, this didn’t sit well with either Dave or Nancy or some other Scientology minion, because they sicced Scientology attorney Gary Soter on us, and he filed a DMCA takedown request with Substack, which promptly removed our story.
Now, we could, of course, get into a protracted fight over this, arguing that a cropped photo from a magazine published by Scientology and containing such newsworthy material should qualify for a “Fair Use” exemption to copyright law.
But we have a funnier, more smart-assed way of handling it, and that’s how we roll.
We contacted our friend Chad Essley, a cartoonist who has come to our rescue in the past, and asked him to create his own take on the Cartwright-Miscavige image, something that not only is in Chad’s great style, but also something that is uncopyrightable by the Church of Scientology.
As for the other photos in the story, we’ve decided to get creative there as well.
Our original story on Monday was a huge hit with readers and really burned up social media — and mainstream media outfits like the Daily Mail and the Independent picked it up.
We only hope that you can help spread the word about this version as well, so that Nancy’s contributions are not forgotten.
Here, then, is the story Scientology had Substack take down…
The new issue of Scientology’s Impact magazine is here, and it contains a surprise!
Impact is our favorite of Scientology’s publications because it provides us with reports from the church’s celebrations of its biggest donors. (We call them “whales.”)
In this case, it was a relatively small number of multi-million dollar benefactors who were feted at the Ft Harrison Hotel in Clearwater, Florida on New Year’s Eve.
Before we show you the list, it’s really important to keep in mind that these are cumulative amounts given just to one Scientology initiative, the International Association of Scientologists, the church’s membership organization (and leader David Miscavige’s legal slush fund). Someone credited for giving $1 million, for example, may have given only a few thousand in recent months that enabled them to get past that plateau. (For an explanation of how we know what amounts the statuses represent or the estimates we’ve made for some of them, see our methodology here.)
Back in 2019, one of the whales celebrated in Impact was none other than Nancy Cartwright, voice of Bart Simpson, who at that point had reached the level of “Diamond Laureate With Honors,” reflecting that she’d given Scientology about $17.5 million.
And now, she’s topped herself again! This new issue of Impact indicates that on New Year’s Eve she received a trophy for reaching “Patron Excalibur With Honors,” suggesting she’s now coughed up $21 million in donations just to the IAS. (Big donors are also hit up for millions more in gifts specifically earmarked for building projects and other initiatives. Cartwright gave millions, for example, to the construction of the San Fernando Valley Ideal Org, which opened in 2017.)
“This was the most beautiful acknowledgment I have ever received in my entire life,” Cartwright told Impact magazine.
$21 million? ¡Ay caramba!
Here then are the million-dollar-plus donors listed in the new Impact magazine. These amounts are just astounding!
GOLD MERITORIOUS
Stephen & Meg Epstein
Nashville, Tennessee
Lifetime Members since: 2011 (Stephen), 1999 (Meg)
Stephen Epstein is a Nashville investor who, we read recently in the Tampa Bay Times, recruited a “ringer” to front a new development in the north marina area in Clearwater, Florida.
Gold Meritorious = $1 million
GOLD MERITORIOUS WITH HONORS
The Andrus Family
Clearwater, Florida
Lifetime Members since: 1985/88
Gold Meritorious With Honors = $1.75 million
PLATINUM MERITORIOUS
David & Erika Melrose and Family
Prosper, Texas
Lifetime Members since: 2002
Platinum Meritorious = $2.5 million
PLATINUM MERITORIOUS WITH HONORS
Howard & Karen Becker
Clearwater, Florida
Lifetime Members since 1985 (Howard), 1987 (Karen)
Platinum Meritorious With Honors = $3.75 million
DIAMOND MERITORIOUS
Chie Mihara & Francisco Sanchis and Family
Elda, Spain
Lifetime Members since: 2006
Diamond Meritorious = $5 million
PATRON LAUREATE WITH HONORS
Steve Fabos & Peggy Oppenheim Fabos
Confirming what we noted a few weeks ago, the Fabos Factor is back!
Patron Laureate With Honors = $11 million
PATRON EXCALIBUR WITH HONORS
Nancy Cartwright
Northridge, California
Lifetime Member since: 1991
What’s this? Nancy gets to have Dave in the picture when she isn’t the biggest donor of the night? Wow, celebrity really is the coin of the realm in Scientology, isn’t it?
Patron Excalibur With Honors = $21 million
DIAMOND MAXIMUS
Tom & Victoria Cummins and Family
Pietrasanta, Italy
Lifetime Members since 1985 (Tom), 2006 (Victoria)
Diamond Maximus = $40 million
PATRON OF LEGEND WITH HONORS
Trish Duggan
Clearwater, Florida
Lifetime Member since: 1986
Patron of Legend With Honors = $300 million plus?
Trish and Bob Duggan have been split up for about six years now, but Trish is still going strong as David Miscavige’s biggest funder. In an interview with the Tampa Bay Times, Bob Duggan insisted that he’s still in the fold, even though he doesn’t attend these events anymore. He has also confirmed that he and his ex-wife have given north of $300 million in donations, and Scientology had to come up with a special status just for Trish: “Patron of Legend.” This time, adding “With Honors” to it seems like weak sauce. But she’s still the queen of Scientology richies.
Want to help?
You can support the Underground Bunker with a Paypal contribution to bunkerfund@tonyortega.org, an account administered by the Bunker’s attorney, Scott Pilutik. And by request, this is our Venmo link, and for Zelle, please use (tonyo94 AT gmail).
Thank you for reading today’s story here at Substack. For the full picture of what’s happening today in the world of Scientology, please join the conversation at tonyortega.org, where we’ve been reporting daily on David Miscavige’s cabal since 2012. There you’ll find additional stories, and our popular regular daily features:
Source Code: Actual things founder L. Ron Hubbard said on this date in history
Avast, Ye Mateys: Snapshots from Scientology’s years at sea
Overheard in the Freezone: Indie Hubbardism, one thought at a time
Past is Prologue: From this week in history at alt.religion.scientology
Random Howdy: Your daily dose of the Captain
Here’s the link for today’s post at tonyortega.org
And whatever you do, subscribe to this Substack so you get our breaking stories and daily features right to your email inbox every morning.
Paid subscribers get access to two special podcast series every week…
Up the Bridge: A weekly journey through Scientology’s actual “technology”
Group Therapy: Our round table of rowdy regulars on the week’s news
While we bunkeroos have laughed at the previous 'bowling trophies' that the Clampire hands out, this collection of authentic bowling trophies takes the cake. The cake, the swing set, the bouncy house and a keg of good beer. Very well done cartoonist.
Substack needs to remember that 'fair use' is fair.
Now, jury, find Dan Masterson guilty and send him to the bouncy house that has steel bars all over.
So good! Of course, the illustration is spot-on, and the trophies perfectly reflect the “achievements “ of the suckers, but the fact that Cummins’ trophy looks like him as The Hulk made me spray my tea across the table.