Once again, we have to differ with all of the negativity out there being forwarded by merchants of chaos: Scientology is taking this country ideal, and Dave’s troops are on fire!
"Yes - we maintain double full-time jobs." -- them explaining how they try to afford having children (they never can spend time with), being on course, and becoming Philly 6x Humanitarians.
A few comments about this (as a former copywriter and designer):
• The photo of only four staff members tells anyone that this is not a LARGE group of dedicated people. Note that none of them titled Registrar, Receptionist, Supervisor, or Auditor, or C/S.
• The first paragraph is pure fluff (no surprise). There's no way they're "getting the entire field winning, winning, winning" when there are only four staff members and they're focused on dissemination and "manning up the org".
• The photos of the outdoor event are so tightly cropped it looks like 5 or 6 people at most. One of them must be a staff member trying to sell a book, and there had to be other staff there to handle the "floodgates".
• As noted in another comment, the "3X" and "5X" have no context, which suggests they might have had 3 people sign up for a course, and sold 5 books within a time-frame that started at the same level for each (note the "before levels" on the chart). It's safe to assume the "before" was no more than three and, most likely, 1.
• The three photos under "delivery of standard tech" are: 1) donors, 2) a "top FSM", and 3) a guy on the student hat course. So photo evidence of their "booming" is just one guy on course.
• There's a photo of only one completion, which suggests the number of public really might be three or less.
• The photos of all the donors provides a visual that suggests they are public or staff in Philadelphia — until you read the captions.
• The story of "Why We Did It" reads like a hostage plea and mentions some interesting details: the success of Ideal Orgs — and the "goal of scientology — is in terms of buildings and not public or completions. And (more importantly from a promotional standpoint) it contradicts the veiled "ideal" message of this piece by stating that the doors to the Ideal Philly Org remain closed.
Because I've had to write and design with little to go on, whoever put this piece together did their best to sell what isn't there. It's not easy, so kudos for that.
“With a new Public Executive Secretary on post, Philadelphia Org has busted open the dissemination lines, with new public discovering LRH for the first time and taking their very
first steps on the Bridge!”
Do the citizens of Philadelphia live in a vacuum? They are clueless regarding the toxicity of Scientology? I don’t think so.
SO WHAT DOES THAT QUOTE MEAN?
3 new people starting course in a week or in a month. 5 books sold instead 1 or 0? Their graph gives no actual numbers. And how many clears did they produce last month? Looks like a big ZERO. And Shawn and Colleen May’s 8 paragraph compendium of propaganda BS to get people to donate to another empty building. All smiles add up to possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars going into David Miscavige’s bank account. These people may look happy. IMO the are zombies. Thank you Tony for a scary Halloween substack article.
Also, Dawnn? So like Dawn but with an extra superfluous n on the end so that she can spend eternity spelling her name every single time she says it? It's honestly the gift that keeps on giving this whole thing. If I didn't know better, I'd think it was a satirical piece from The Onion.
Oh wowwwww! So I had only $12 left in my bank account and used it to subscribe to this awesome substack-i was previously just a free reader of the emails. (I don't have a regular income or I would've paid for the year), but holy s*it!!(can we swear on here?). This whole thing is far too hilarious for me not to be able to comment on some of those faces and their arbitrary titles...!! I legit spat my drink on my phone. I mean come on-"Vanguard" lol. "Platinum". Hilarious. This is clearly directly related to the money they've given them yeah? Yikes. To all this ideal org pap and the uncanny valley robots the four people at the top clearly are. I've taken screenshots of all of them to show my friend that knows how much schadenfreude I get from these guys (and the mormons) because truly, each of those photos are all "special" in their own way. The titles, the people's faces. Oh man, I am still giggling a bit writing this. I love your work, Mr Ortega. (I wasn't sure if I should go with Tony, Tony Ortega or perhaps Big O? I thought if I wrote just "Tony" it seemed too familiar-which I am with you, but you don't know me and it seemed a bit rude. Although I'm an Aussie so I probably could be got away with it. LMK for next time. Hoping for Big O tbh). I've listened to all the UB podcasts and I think you're great. And now I get to comment on the scientoology dickbaggery for at least a month!! Ha! Yay! Id like to apologise for my loquaciousness in advance.
Like for real. The Feldmans. "Civilisation builders" lol. Mrs Feldman looks like she is faking that weird positive face and is what made me spit my drink. Hilarious. This is not a great bit of propaganda to snag new people. Brilliant.
Rah, Rah, sis boom bah!! Yeah, get the troops riled up and opening their wallets. The 'testimonial' nature of this tome is the standard advertising gimmick of the Clampire. If 2 or more people you know in the Philly mOrg are giving big, why aren't you doing the same?
I love how the Florida couple are donating, holy shades of the 'USA Alliance' Batman! So where is that USA Alliance? Why isn't it donating to the cause? Did $cientology learn its graft from Roy Cohen or Cohen's protege, or did Cohen learn it from Lroon?
As an adoptive Philadelphian via the Bronx, I can't believe there were enough Philly folk to staff an Org at all. Gritty vs. Xenu: not even a fair fight.
"Yes - we maintain double full-time jobs." -- them explaining how they try to afford having children (they never can spend time with), being on course, and becoming Philly 6x Humanitarians.
A few comments about this (as a former copywriter and designer):
• The photo of only four staff members tells anyone that this is not a LARGE group of dedicated people. Note that none of them titled Registrar, Receptionist, Supervisor, or Auditor, or C/S.
• The first paragraph is pure fluff (no surprise). There's no way they're "getting the entire field winning, winning, winning" when there are only four staff members and they're focused on dissemination and "manning up the org".
• The photos of the outdoor event are so tightly cropped it looks like 5 or 6 people at most. One of them must be a staff member trying to sell a book, and there had to be other staff there to handle the "floodgates".
• As noted in another comment, the "3X" and "5X" have no context, which suggests they might have had 3 people sign up for a course, and sold 5 books within a time-frame that started at the same level for each (note the "before levels" on the chart). It's safe to assume the "before" was no more than three and, most likely, 1.
• The three photos under "delivery of standard tech" are: 1) donors, 2) a "top FSM", and 3) a guy on the student hat course. So photo evidence of their "booming" is just one guy on course.
• There's a photo of only one completion, which suggests the number of public really might be three or less.
• The photos of all the donors provides a visual that suggests they are public or staff in Philadelphia — until you read the captions.
• The story of "Why We Did It" reads like a hostage plea and mentions some interesting details: the success of Ideal Orgs — and the "goal of scientology — is in terms of buildings and not public or completions. And (more importantly from a promotional standpoint) it contradicts the veiled "ideal" message of this piece by stating that the doors to the Ideal Philly Org remain closed.
Because I've had to write and design with little to go on, whoever put this piece together did their best to sell what isn't there. It's not easy, so kudos for that.
Ok, let’s get real. Here’s one of the quotes:
“With a new Public Executive Secretary on post, Philadelphia Org has busted open the dissemination lines, with new public discovering LRH for the first time and taking their very
first steps on the Bridge!”
Do the citizens of Philadelphia live in a vacuum? They are clueless regarding the toxicity of Scientology? I don’t think so.
SO WHAT DOES THAT QUOTE MEAN?
3 new people starting course in a week or in a month. 5 books sold instead 1 or 0? Their graph gives no actual numbers. And how many clears did they produce last month? Looks like a big ZERO. And Shawn and Colleen May’s 8 paragraph compendium of propaganda BS to get people to donate to another empty building. All smiles add up to possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars going into David Miscavige’s bank account. These people may look happy. IMO the are zombies. Thank you Tony for a scary Halloween substack article.
Perhaps the new 'students' are children of the current Clams?
Yes, the Org takes any stat it can get.
Also, Dawnn? So like Dawn but with an extra superfluous n on the end so that she can spend eternity spelling her name every single time she says it? It's honestly the gift that keeps on giving this whole thing. If I didn't know better, I'd think it was a satirical piece from The Onion.
Whew, thank Xenu DM has been gifted all those $$$ millions.
Philly will be Ideal any day now.
Oh wowwwww! So I had only $12 left in my bank account and used it to subscribe to this awesome substack-i was previously just a free reader of the emails. (I don't have a regular income or I would've paid for the year), but holy s*it!!(can we swear on here?). This whole thing is far too hilarious for me not to be able to comment on some of those faces and their arbitrary titles...!! I legit spat my drink on my phone. I mean come on-"Vanguard" lol. "Platinum". Hilarious. This is clearly directly related to the money they've given them yeah? Yikes. To all this ideal org pap and the uncanny valley robots the four people at the top clearly are. I've taken screenshots of all of them to show my friend that knows how much schadenfreude I get from these guys (and the mormons) because truly, each of those photos are all "special" in their own way. The titles, the people's faces. Oh man, I am still giggling a bit writing this. I love your work, Mr Ortega. (I wasn't sure if I should go with Tony, Tony Ortega or perhaps Big O? I thought if I wrote just "Tony" it seemed too familiar-which I am with you, but you don't know me and it seemed a bit rude. Although I'm an Aussie so I probably could be got away with it. LMK for next time. Hoping for Big O tbh). I've listened to all the UB podcasts and I think you're great. And now I get to comment on the scientoology dickbaggery for at least a month!! Ha! Yay! Id like to apologise for my loquaciousness in advance.
OK, but who is the registrar? By far the most important position in any bOrg...
Like for real. The Feldmans. "Civilisation builders" lol. Mrs Feldman looks like she is faking that weird positive face and is what made me spit my drink. Hilarious. This is not a great bit of propaganda to snag new people. Brilliant.
Hang on to your calmag-fortified gonads, Philly is going McSackage Cuck Ideal !
It's the only east coast org presenting the newly released "rundown", straight from the "hole
track"(discovered in El Con's Secret OT[Onanist Twerkers] "Notes on an Arslykan Probe" lecture):
THE RAS BOOMBACLOT FELCH-AND-FIST UNCLENCHING BANK ASSESSMENT!
See the reg today!
Rah, Rah, sis boom bah!! Yeah, get the troops riled up and opening their wallets. The 'testimonial' nature of this tome is the standard advertising gimmick of the Clampire. If 2 or more people you know in the Philly mOrg are giving big, why aren't you doing the same?
I love how the Florida couple are donating, holy shades of the 'USA Alliance' Batman! So where is that USA Alliance? Why isn't it donating to the cause? Did $cientology learn its graft from Roy Cohen or Cohen's protege, or did Cohen learn it from Lroon?
😳
Humanitarians and *DOUBLE* humanitarians. WTF? What does that actually mean?
Thanks, Tony. Hey, has anyone heard how many staff they have?
As an adoptive Philadelphian via the Bronx, I can't believe there were enough Philly folk to staff an Org at all. Gritty vs. Xenu: not even a fair fight.