One hundred and twelve years ago today, on March 13, 1911, the Great Thetan, the Commodore, Source, LRH, the Great OT, yes L. Ron Hubbard himself, was born in Tilden, Nebraska. Now, normally the organization he left behind, the Church of Scientology, would have its annual international event at Ruth Eckerd Hall in Clearwater, Florida, and a couple of thousand devotees would be treated to tall tales about Hubbard as “Mankind’s Best Friend,” featuring astounding stories of his exploits over his lifetime, which lasted until 1986.
Eternal gratitude to El Schlong Tughard for mixing his spooge with Jack Parson's to conjure a "moonchild".
A theta wank felt throughout the guh-laxy.
On this special day, we are also forever thankful for The Great Thetan's historic discoveries in the fields of atomic physics, immunology, biochemistry, neurology, astronomy, and interstellar jet propulsion-to name a few...
Being a stable, amphetamine-stoked genius, he also left us a variety of musical, photographic, and literary masterpieces that are acknowledged and celebrated in land fills, incinerators, and church of scienbollocky implant centers worldwide!
Being a black man, I am particularly fond of El Wrong Strokehard's racist screeds; they unflinchingly affirm my genetic inferiority and my fixation on "bong-bong trees". Fortunately, Mr. Strokehard was thoroughly racist, so...well, shucks, lemme just share some of the Tilden Twat's brilliant insights(hey, it's his birthday!):
“… gooks … really more or less savage at heart.”
“In North Africa they had the Arab with the gun and whip, but he could force people to do things … and he accomplished a tremendous amount of extermination, but he certainly didn’t advance that civilization very much.”
“Now it’s of peculiar interest to an Arab country that there is a company and a certain set of bankers who also finance the World Federation of Mental Health. …and we see that although the KGB and so forth seems to be associated with the World Federation of Mental Health, their other organization in action seems to go back to Jewish Bankers.”
“The South African native is probably the one impossible person to train in the entire world — he is probably impossible by any human standard.”
“Perhaps the unusually strong withholds can be explained by the Bantu’s mercenary nature: Because the one thing — the very, very commercial little culture the Bantu has … the idea of commerce and money and that sort of thing is very deeply ingrained in these people.”
(THE IRONY METER EXPLODED ON THIS ONE!)
But, wait...THERE'S MORE!
“…the African tribesman, with his complete contempt for truth and his emphasis on brutality and savagery for others but not for himself, is a no-civilization.”
“You’ll find in Africans a fantastic amount of heavy space opera and so on, going on … which makes the colored African very, very interesting to process because he doesn’t know why he goes through all these dances … and why he feels so barbarous ….”
Okay, one more, cuz it's HIS BIRTHDAY!
“Illiterate cultures do not survive and they are not very high. The natives of the tribe of the Bugga Bugga Booga Boogas down in Lower Bugga Wugga Booga Woog are mostly no longer with us, or they are around waving red flags today and revolting against their central government.
And they didn’t learn fast. Their literacy was not up to absorbing culture rapidly.
They’ve been very happily down amongst the bong-bong trees, you know, dancing up and down amongst the bong-bong trees, and the highest level of their interest and so forth was their own back yard.”
EL BONG, MY NUKKAH!
HIP, HIP, HOORAY! You are STILL DEAD, you degraded motherfuckah!
I was on the Apollo, his ship in 1974. I did music part of the time I was there. Here’s a short anecdote and my opinion about the man. He was giving a critique to the band I was the guitarist. There was a lull in our discussion and he looked at me and said do you know play Bye Bye Blackbird, play it. I knew the song to some degree. I strummed the first chord and Hubbard started singing.
He was really enjoying himself. He was crooning and I realized he was just a human being who would rather be a care free musician than the founder of the most important applied philosophy in the universe(NOT) IMO he was starving for admiration. He did have it on the ship. Once that chapter of his life ended he was doomed to crash and burn. But in that moment when we’re doing that song I saw the tiny sliver of the creative dream that Hubbard had carried around that was never to be. He created turmoil with his need to be loved. And yet in his writings he had disdain for the word LOVE and everything it entails. He will go down in history as a destructive madman, not a friend to humanity.
But what I saw on the ship in that musical moment buried deep down inside, was a little boy with the failed dream to be a singer.
Eternal gratitude to El Schlong Tughard for mixing his spooge with Jack Parson's to conjure a "moonchild".
A theta wank felt throughout the guh-laxy.
On this special day, we are also forever thankful for The Great Thetan's historic discoveries in the fields of atomic physics, immunology, biochemistry, neurology, astronomy, and interstellar jet propulsion-to name a few...
Being a stable, amphetamine-stoked genius, he also left us a variety of musical, photographic, and literary masterpieces that are acknowledged and celebrated in land fills, incinerators, and church of scienbollocky implant centers worldwide!
Being a black man, I am particularly fond of El Wrong Strokehard's racist screeds; they unflinchingly affirm my genetic inferiority and my fixation on "bong-bong trees". Fortunately, Mr. Strokehard was thoroughly racist, so...well, shucks, lemme just share some of the Tilden Twat's brilliant insights(hey, it's his birthday!):
“… gooks … really more or less savage at heart.”
“In North Africa they had the Arab with the gun and whip, but he could force people to do things … and he accomplished a tremendous amount of extermination, but he certainly didn’t advance that civilization very much.”
“Now it’s of peculiar interest to an Arab country that there is a company and a certain set of bankers who also finance the World Federation of Mental Health. …and we see that although the KGB and so forth seems to be associated with the World Federation of Mental Health, their other organization in action seems to go back to Jewish Bankers.”
“The South African native is probably the one impossible person to train in the entire world — he is probably impossible by any human standard.”
“Perhaps the unusually strong withholds can be explained by the Bantu’s mercenary nature: Because the one thing — the very, very commercial little culture the Bantu has … the idea of commerce and money and that sort of thing is very deeply ingrained in these people.”
(THE IRONY METER EXPLODED ON THIS ONE!)
But, wait...THERE'S MORE!
“…the African tribesman, with his complete contempt for truth and his emphasis on brutality and savagery for others but not for himself, is a no-civilization.”
“You’ll find in Africans a fantastic amount of heavy space opera and so on, going on … which makes the colored African very, very interesting to process because he doesn’t know why he goes through all these dances … and why he feels so barbarous ….”
Okay, one more, cuz it's HIS BIRTHDAY!
“Illiterate cultures do not survive and they are not very high. The natives of the tribe of the Bugga Bugga Booga Boogas down in Lower Bugga Wugga Booga Woog are mostly no longer with us, or they are around waving red flags today and revolting against their central government.
And they didn’t learn fast. Their literacy was not up to absorbing culture rapidly.
They’ve been very happily down amongst the bong-bong trees, you know, dancing up and down amongst the bong-bong trees, and the highest level of their interest and so forth was their own back yard.”
EL BONG, MY NUKKAH!
HIP, HIP, HOORAY! You are STILL DEAD, you degraded motherfuckah!
Was this before or after the time he had the fight with army men while also being blind and lame in the hospital and saving America from black magick?
I was on the Apollo, his ship in 1974. I did music part of the time I was there. Here’s a short anecdote and my opinion about the man. He was giving a critique to the band I was the guitarist. There was a lull in our discussion and he looked at me and said do you know play Bye Bye Blackbird, play it. I knew the song to some degree. I strummed the first chord and Hubbard started singing.
He was really enjoying himself. He was crooning and I realized he was just a human being who would rather be a care free musician than the founder of the most important applied philosophy in the universe(NOT) IMO he was starving for admiration. He did have it on the ship. Once that chapter of his life ended he was doomed to crash and burn. But in that moment when we’re doing that song I saw the tiny sliver of the creative dream that Hubbard had carried around that was never to be. He created turmoil with his need to be loved. And yet in his writings he had disdain for the word LOVE and everything it entails. He will go down in history as a destructive madman, not a friend to humanity.
But what I saw on the ship in that musical moment buried deep down inside, was a little boy with the failed dream to be a singer.
Hubbard was superstitious, was what I’d heard. He has been known to throw salt over his left shoulder.
The best tall tale is that Hubbard dropped the body and is continuing his research on Target 2.
Buh-bye.