[Today’s guest post is by Valerie Ross] People talk about how the old timers say it was fun in the “good old days,” back when L. Ron Hubbard ran Scientology. And it did seem like it was more fun than it would be these days. But fun is a relative thing, and looking back, that was part of the con. We were to an extent allowed more freedom than people who are on staff these days, but that didn’t mean we were free. What a dichotomy. I’ll try to explain.
Wow what an awful mess. I am so sorry for what you endured.
I remember in 1981 or 1982 Hubbard put out something about No scented products and No TV. There were enforcers that came around to every berthing to confiscate these items. It could be any time day or night. My mom and I had to hide our soap and shampoo products because who in the h*ll in the Sea Org could afford to just buy new unscented ones? We needed time until we saved up enough to buy unscented but of course that wasn’t anyone’s problem but our own. When the products had to go, they had to go. There was No time frame given…. Just NOW.
What a string of horrible experiences! I was the lead supervisor of the SHSBC for ASHO Foundation (nights and weekends) from 1975-1977. But I wasn't in the SO, and It was much easier to be non-SO staff. That's a fact. But Val makes many points I recognize and experienced myself.
Back then, I was paid $80/week and got a week of vacation each year. It was the vacations that were the times when the light got in: my vacations were spent with my family and when it came time to go back to ASHO, I dreaded the thought and even considered not going back. So what seemed like an easy and fun time on staff was actually an entirely different persona I adopted to get along. Once I was back on post, it took a day or two but I got into the mindset of "happy" again. In truth, I really did enjoy the students and my colleagues (and Tommy's burgers). What I didn't fully enjoy was the technology itself, which was something I was unable to confront at the time.
Example: there was a sentence in (I think) "A History of Man". that my students would call me to help them with. I word-cleared that sentence myself many times (on and off an e-meter) and it never made sense to me. I concluded it was either an incomplete sentence or had typos in it when it was transcribed. (During the day, I worked as a typesetter, so I knew that kind of thing could happen.) Once I'd reached the conclusion that the sentence made no sense, I shared that with students who got stuck on it and told them to skip it. (This was before word clearing was expanded to understand every word in every definition ... another bane to the existence of a supervisor who then had unrealistic target dates for students who got hung up on long word chains).
During the time I was supervising, I was handed a new checksheet for the BC which wasn't signed by Hubbard and which, per policy, was therefore not legitimate. I protested and got enough pushback that I wound up using the new checksheet while carrying the previous one at the bottom of the stack on my clipboard. So that's how KSW really worked.
I had NO idea — until today — that any SO male staff member would accost an SO female staff! (Oh Val ... how sickening!) But I did know SO higher ups (especially males) threw their weight around and were (as Val rightly notes) 1.1 on the tone scale.. From the outside of SO staff looking in, the use of "ARC" didn't seem to exist for them.
Although my experience as a lead BC supervisor wasn't as horrendous as Val's, I get it: the mindset we adopted in order to feel we were doing the right thing was a false mindset ... a cult mindset. For me, certain experiences — on and off staff — kept letting the light in, and eventually I broke free ... along with so many others who are now out.
I'm so sorry you went through what you did, Val. We held the same post and you went through so much more "not okay" experiences than I did. I hope you've found peace, despite the history and memories of it.
Wow, just freakin wow. You had to endure sex abuse (and abuse it was) just because someone higher on the totem pole lusted after you? If you had actual friends, they would have banded together and beaten the hell out or your abuser. If they had known. By keeping everyone hiding under the toadstool, no one actually communicated with each other.
Funny how KSW (making money) overrode every other consideration. By making everyone isolated from each other, all you had to keep you together was Lroon's wit and wisdom and the discipline enforced by those higher up on the totem pole. A discipline that was arbitrary and capricious.
Write on Val, write on. I want to read about your stint in the Guardian's Orifice. That spelling was deliberate.
The transformation of a person into a true believer to endure that kind of brainwashing and abuse is well represented by your staff experiences. I was not on staff for more than a total of 18 month.
However I was a true believer for 46 years. That’s about 60% of my life trashed while in the cult. And I invested so much of my creativity(decades) and income helping Scientology expand. So I’m “still” working on deprogramming of certain areas.
I appreciate you revisiting the “good old years” for us to get a glimpse of the insanity you endured.
I’m glad you have your life and family intact. So many others aren’t so lucky. My children disconnected from over five years ago.
A lot of my story is in my documentary Brothers Broken which I intend to get out on a major platform soon.
So many people here can relate and express their apologies on what you went through as an SO better than me. So, instead, I would just like to give you my sympathies on having to travel the 101 to get to work. These days that would make anyone show up to work as 1.1!
Wow what an awful mess. I am so sorry for what you endured.
I remember in 1981 or 1982 Hubbard put out something about No scented products and No TV. There were enforcers that came around to every berthing to confiscate these items. It could be any time day or night. My mom and I had to hide our soap and shampoo products because who in the h*ll in the Sea Org could afford to just buy new unscented ones? We needed time until we saved up enough to buy unscented but of course that wasn’t anyone’s problem but our own. When the products had to go, they had to go. There was No time frame given…. Just NOW.
What a string of horrible experiences! I was the lead supervisor of the SHSBC for ASHO Foundation (nights and weekends) from 1975-1977. But I wasn't in the SO, and It was much easier to be non-SO staff. That's a fact. But Val makes many points I recognize and experienced myself.
Back then, I was paid $80/week and got a week of vacation each year. It was the vacations that were the times when the light got in: my vacations were spent with my family and when it came time to go back to ASHO, I dreaded the thought and even considered not going back. So what seemed like an easy and fun time on staff was actually an entirely different persona I adopted to get along. Once I was back on post, it took a day or two but I got into the mindset of "happy" again. In truth, I really did enjoy the students and my colleagues (and Tommy's burgers). What I didn't fully enjoy was the technology itself, which was something I was unable to confront at the time.
Example: there was a sentence in (I think) "A History of Man". that my students would call me to help them with. I word-cleared that sentence myself many times (on and off an e-meter) and it never made sense to me. I concluded it was either an incomplete sentence or had typos in it when it was transcribed. (During the day, I worked as a typesetter, so I knew that kind of thing could happen.) Once I'd reached the conclusion that the sentence made no sense, I shared that with students who got stuck on it and told them to skip it. (This was before word clearing was expanded to understand every word in every definition ... another bane to the existence of a supervisor who then had unrealistic target dates for students who got hung up on long word chains).
During the time I was supervising, I was handed a new checksheet for the BC which wasn't signed by Hubbard and which, per policy, was therefore not legitimate. I protested and got enough pushback that I wound up using the new checksheet while carrying the previous one at the bottom of the stack on my clipboard. So that's how KSW really worked.
I had NO idea — until today — that any SO male staff member would accost an SO female staff! (Oh Val ... how sickening!) But I did know SO higher ups (especially males) threw their weight around and were (as Val rightly notes) 1.1 on the tone scale.. From the outside of SO staff looking in, the use of "ARC" didn't seem to exist for them.
Although my experience as a lead BC supervisor wasn't as horrendous as Val's, I get it: the mindset we adopted in order to feel we were doing the right thing was a false mindset ... a cult mindset. For me, certain experiences — on and off staff — kept letting the light in, and eventually I broke free ... along with so many others who are now out.
I'm so sorry you went through what you did, Val. We held the same post and you went through so much more "not okay" experiences than I did. I hope you've found peace, despite the history and memories of it.
Wow, just freakin wow. You had to endure sex abuse (and abuse it was) just because someone higher on the totem pole lusted after you? If you had actual friends, they would have banded together and beaten the hell out or your abuser. If they had known. By keeping everyone hiding under the toadstool, no one actually communicated with each other.
Funny how KSW (making money) overrode every other consideration. By making everyone isolated from each other, all you had to keep you together was Lroon's wit and wisdom and the discipline enforced by those higher up on the totem pole. A discipline that was arbitrary and capricious.
Write on Val, write on. I want to read about your stint in the Guardian's Orifice. That spelling was deliberate.
The transformation of a person into a true believer to endure that kind of brainwashing and abuse is well represented by your staff experiences. I was not on staff for more than a total of 18 month.
However I was a true believer for 46 years. That’s about 60% of my life trashed while in the cult. And I invested so much of my creativity(decades) and income helping Scientology expand. So I’m “still” working on deprogramming of certain areas.
I appreciate you revisiting the “good old years” for us to get a glimpse of the insanity you endured.
I’m glad you have your life and family intact. So many others aren’t so lucky. My children disconnected from over five years ago.
A lot of my story is in my documentary Brothers Broken which I intend to get out on a major platform soon.
Brothers Broken trailer & website
https://www.brothersbroken.com
So many people here can relate and express their apologies on what you went through as an SO better than me. So, instead, I would just like to give you my sympathies on having to travel the 101 to get to work. These days that would make anyone show up to work as 1.1!