Scientology targets another international capital city, and we have the hype video!
Scientology targets another international capital city, and we have the hype video!
We’ve had something of a Down Under theme here lately at the Underground Bunker. On Sunday, we appeared in another 60 Minutes Australia segment, about Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis. And the next day we got to hear about the Conley family and its connection to Kate Ceberano, Australia’s most well-known Scientologist.
And we hear it from Aussies all the time: Our country is too smart to put up with Scientology’s nonsense. The press in Oz is certainly more vigilant than the networks here.
But we didn’t want to give the impression that Scientology, hurting as it is, has given up hope below the equator.
As evidence of that, we were recently forwarded some material from Scientology’s latest Ideal Org push in Australia, which is to build a new cathedral in the country’s capital city of Canberra.
And there’s a hype video! We always enjoy those.
Scientology has a long legacy in Australia. Founder L. Ron Hubbard went there in the 1950s to spread his gospel, and left a strong footprint for his growing movement. Read Steve Cannane’s excellent book about Scientology in Australia, Fair Game, to get the full picture.
But we ask our antipodean friends, how do you judge Scientology’s chances of catching fire with this new promotional push?
Our local correspondent says, “The new Canberra Ideal Org and national church for Australia will be at 56 Chandler St Belconnen ACT, a 10 minute drive from the heart of the city and the current org on Alinga St. It looks like a smaller version of the AO with same brutalist style and used to be part of the Federal Government’s Cameron Offices Complex; part of it was demolished, part was turned into student accommodation and the remainder went to market for sale in 2018.” Records show Scientology paid $8.8 million AUS for it.
Brutalist style is right. Here’s what the building looks like that Dave wants to turn into his Canberra cathedral…
Hey, don’t disappoint NASA. Fork over your hard-earned cash now, pilgrims
Chris Shelton is going Straight Up and Vertical
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The video for the Canberra Ideal Org appears to be created to extract money from church members outside of Australia. It’s a slick travelogue commercial for the city and why they need a new citadel of craziness that will sit empty. In this way Davey can point to more huge international expansion and attract whales to donate to change the world. Meanwhile the world sees only a criminal organization thanks to the media explosion from Danny Masterson’s trial. I love that Scientology is becoming absolutely radioactive. The most common approach to dealing with radioactive waste is to bury it. No amount of money is going to stop that from happening Mr. Miscavige. Tik Tok, Tik Tik.
Sweet baby Xenu, who writes the copy on these flyers?
Spend 1/4 of the space dissing the target city before referring yawningly to its amazing natural wonders (what are “different” mountains? More than one? Made of cheese?). Then refer to a foreign dish antennae as a “NASA base” and as if it were the region’s only noteworthy feature.
I would give just to never see Scientology marketing copy ever again.