Scientology’s Austin grand opening finally set for sizzling August afternoon

We’ve been very fortunate that several readers take it upon themselves to keep an eye on Scientology’s moves in places like Chicago and Austin, and we want to thank them for their vigilance.

One reader, for example, showed us how to locate some interesting information about Scientology’s plans for its upcoming “Ideal Org” grand opening in Austin.

If you remember, in his New Year’s stemwinder, church leader David Miscavige boasted that he’d open four new Ideal Orgs in the first quarter of 2023, which didn’t happen. But now Austin is apparently going to get its big day.

According to city records, Austin’s grand opening celebration is scheduled for 2 pm to 3 pm on Saturday, August 26, and the church is asking for various traffic shutdowns on busy Guadalupe Street.

The request was submitted on March 23 by Nick Banks of Scientology Media Productions, and the city is apparently still considering the plan.

But hey, who doesn’t want to stand around at 2 pm on Guadalupe Street on an August 26 afternoon for a chance to see dapper Dave cut a ribbon, right?

Let’s check the record for temperatures in Austin over the last ten August 26 afternoons.

2013: 90 degrees

2014: 100 degrees

2015: 95 degrees

2016: 94 degrees

2017: 78 degrees (with 7+ inches of rain)

2018: 101 degrees

2019: 102 degrees

2020: 95 degrees

2021: 98 degrees

2022: 97 degrees

Bring your sunscreen, wealthy Scientology donors flying in for the ceremony!

And for you locals, a head’s up: Some of the sidewalk and alley closures around the building are scheduled to go into effect up to five days before the event. But we hope someone can snag us a photo of the org with its big ribbon before Dave does the honors.

Also, for you process servers looking for the diminutive don of Hubbardism, here’s your chance!

Meanwhile, we want to thank our reader in Chicago who is patiently waiting for some sign of progress there…

When is Chicago going to get its close-up, Dave?

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Bonus items from our tipsters

Says our reader, “Weird graphic.”

"As an auditor you can do something about life. You can confront it and have a much wider, broader view of life and people than any person, regardless of their state of case, who is not an auditor. "

L. RON HUBBARD

YOU AS AN AUDITOR

THE AUDITOR 1968

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Thank you for reading today’s story here at Substack. For the full picture of what’s happening today in the world of Scientology, please join the conversation at tonyortega.org, where we’ve been reporting daily on David Miscavige’s cabal since 2012. There you’ll find additional stories, and our popular regular daily features:

Source Code: Actual things founder L. Ron Hubbard said on this date in history

Avast, Ye Mateys: Snapshots from Scientology’s years at sea

Overheard in the Freezone: Indie Hubbardism, one thought at a time

Past is Prologue: From this week in history at alt.religion.scientology

Random Howdy: Your daily dose of the Captain

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