The most ideal part of Scientology’s new Ideal Orgs? They’re ready for Ron’s return!

Now that the dust has settled on David Miscavige’s whirlwind tour that had him opening three Scientology ‘Ideal Orgs’ in only nine days, in Austin, Mexico City, and Chicago, we thought we’d spend a moment to focus not so much on his grand opening parties outside these new buildings as on what’s inside.

Each of these gleaming new cathedrals have the usual set of auditing rooms, chapels, cafes and the other standard set of amenities unique to a Scientology shrine to purification and auditing.

But what we have always found really remarkable about these expensive projects, which cost something like $25 million each according to former church executives, is that each of them comes with an office set aside for the founder, L. Ron Hubbard, who left this plane of existence way back in 1986.

Yes, Ron has been dead for more than 38 years now, but no Ideal Org is complete without an office dedicated to his use, just in case, we suppose, he were to suddenly show up after doing some laps around the Van Allen Belt on his way back from Target Two (the place in the galaxy where he’s supposed to be spreading Scientology to next).

And of course, this being Scientology, they couldn’t help putting out press releases about each of the new Ideal Orgs without including photos of their precious altars to the Great Thetan, and we thought you’d like to see them.

And hey, rating rooms is all the rage now, right? You tell us: Which of these is Ron likely to find most to his liking?

Here’s Ron’s office in Austin…

Feels a bit cramped, doesn’t it? And that wall art seems awfully generic. Wouldn’t it feel more homey to Ron if it had some photos of the Apollo and Mary Sue or something?

Here’s Ron’s office in Mexico City…

Now this not only feels a bit more spacious, but the choice of art objects and other decorations feels a bit more interesting, doesn’t it?

And here’s Ron’s office in Chicago…

We like that desk. And is that a little figurine of Michael Jordan? Was Ron a basketball fan?

What do you think, does Dave slip in here after hours to throw down a tumbler of Macallan's and put his feet up on Ron's desk, just to lord it over him?

OK, your turn. Give us your thoughts on Ron's new places!

And we can hardly wait to see what Ron’s office will look like in the fourth of the new Ideal Orgs that were scheduled to open, the one in Paris that Dave said would be going first.

When is Paris opening up?

Well, Dave certainly has a lot of incentive to get it done this next weekend, assuming that he wants to show video of all four openings at the L. Ron Hubbard birthday event.

Ron’s birthday is March 13, and we’re assuming that the birthday event in Clearwater, Florida is likely to fall this year on the following Saturday, which would be March 16.

Can Dave pull it off and have all four orgs open in time for Ron’s birthday bash?

---

Chris Shelton is going Straight Up and Vertical

---

Want to help?

Please consider joining the Underground Bunker as a paid subscriber. Your $7 a month will go a long way to helping this news project stay independent, and you’ll get access to our special material for subscribers. Or, you can support the Underground Bunker with a Paypal contribution to bunkerfund@tonyortega.org, an account administered by the Bunker’s attorney, Scott Pilutik. And by request, this is our Venmo link, and for Zelle, please use (tonyo94 AT gmail). E-mail tips to tonyo94@gmail.com.

---

Thank you for reading today’s story here at Substack. For the full picture of what’s happening today in the world of Scientology, please join the conversation at tonyortega.org, where we’ve been reporting daily on David Miscavige’s cabal since 2012. There you’ll find additional stories, and our popular regular daily features:

Source Code: Actual things founder L. Ron Hubbard said on this date in history

Avast, Ye Mateys: Snapshots from Scientology’s years at sea

Overheard in the Freezone: Indie Hubbardism, one thought at a time

Past is Prologue: From this week in history at alt.religion.scientology

Random Howdy: Your daily dose of the Captain

Here’s the link to today’s post at tonyortega.org

And whatever you do, subscribe to this Substack so you get our breaking stories and daily features right to your email inbox every morning.

Paid subscribers get access to two special podcast series…

Up the Bridge: A journey through Scientology’s actual “technology”

Group Therapy: Our round table of rowdy regulars on the week’s news