This made me cry. But I know exactly what you mean with "mind flip" ... the light finally pours in. Kudos for sharing your story. I'm glad you're around to tell it.
Valerie, your writing is wonderful. You put the reader right in the action and your mindset. "Once you leave, you have to reset your entire brain." Every former $cientologist has to go through the same experience. They have to learn to see the world in a different way. Some may gravitate to the Freezone, but from what I have seen, most just get on with their lives and try to flush out the $cienoverse that was installed in their heads. As many have said, having a good life is the best revenge.
Your story is a true tale of survival and a real inspiration Val. I wouldn't be surprised if Mark is in prison if he's even still alive. When I was in Scientology, I experienced a lot of pressure when they tried to recruit me as a full time staff member. This pressure would often become intimidation the more I resisted. I remember every time I walked out of my local org how much more relaxed I felt. I felt tense being inside a place where there were so many people I disliked. I discovered Scientology in 1981 and finally left for good in 1988. To this day I'm kicking myself for taking 7 years to come to my senses. I should have realized much sooner when it was time to leave.
Mark is not in a prison built by anyone but himself. According to my son, he lives miserably in his beautiful home with his wife. They don’t like each other, yet neither of them can leave the house. Their groceries are delivered. He has had at least a dozen stents and three strokes. He can’t walk across the room. The only time he leaves the house is in an ambulance. He has a villa in Bali that he can’t visit. He is right where he needs to be. I did not do anything to him so I have no guilt for how his life is.
Mark is alive and not in civilian law enforcement prison. He is still in Scientology (and that mental prison) with his current wife, he is housebound, and they both have big health issues. [Though I would not be unhappy if Val came on to say that he finally died since her last post.]
I saw it years ago, I don’t think they publish it now. I haven’t been able to locate one. I think by now almost everyone is an enemy. The good guys list would be shorter.
Dearest Val, my eyes are still filled with tears at the details you shared. You are a strong woman and even if you wouldn't have had children, you would have made it through. I was abused growing up and always felt it was my fault, so it's not just the conditioning of Scientology, but narcissists, in which I was raised by 2 of them.
It breaks my heart you were beaten and abused by someone you thought loved you. Thank you for your articles and sharing your heartbreaking experiences.
As you well know, you don’t feel strong while you’re in the middle of it, but it takes something inside of you to keep you going. I’m glad you survived too.
I so agree with you. I couldn't believe I made it to 18 years of age, but took many more years for the scars to heal. We are strong, Val, hear us ROAR! haha
Thanks for the back story on Jim Good. He was very charismatic although he was considered a womanizer. My guess is Joava Good started that rumor. Stats and Admin tech were long gone from the company by 1985. I remember Deb, she was always fun to talk to. Jill’s husband Dave came to work for the company around 1985. He felt that the admin tech was outdated and had no respect for Hubbard. Looking back, it was a crazy place to work. Jill Rich was one of my favorites but i don’t think she did Scientology anymore. Midge Hunt, Nick and Judi Light were there for a short while also. They were old time Scientologists.
I knew Nicci Good as well. I always felt bad for her as i felt she was Joava’s child and other than writing checks for her school, i could tell she was his step child. She had all sorts of issues. I remember Lisa Presley calling the house once and i picked up the phone. I said, hello. Lisa just said, put Nicci on. I asked who the hell was this as i knew it was one of Nicci’s friends. She said, Lisa Presley, put Nicci on. I told her to learn some manner and etiquette and ask nicer. She in a snotty way said, may i please speak with Nicci. I eventually became good friends with Danny Keough who was Lisa’s high boyfriend and met Lisa again when she was pregnant at their home.
Your story is amazing Val and you tell it well. I’m sure our paths crossed now although you were leaving and i was slowly getting in. I vaguely remember hearing about a drama between Jim and a Telephone Marketing Inc. employee. TMI, the name before it became Bill Good Marketing and after Bill Good and Associates.
Joava loved a good rumor. The truth had little to do with it. She invented her own truth. Jim was less of a womanizer than Joava made him seem, he was a fierce advocate of women’s rights in a time when we had few, so he had women friends. Joava always saw the worst in people.
I would love to see Nicci again. I liked her a lot. She was not treated the same as the golden child Jenni by any stretch of the imagination. The Goods always ingratiated themselves in the higher circles of Scientology. I hope Lisa got Nicci out.
Ok then I won’t reach out to her. In my next installment I talk about her for a second. I hope she’s UTR and reading this. I left Facebook in July 2022 after deleting everything I had posted on my personal feed before leaving. I wish her joy.
When I do content I try to put trigger/content warnings upfront, e.g. CW: transphobia or TW: domestic violence, sexual assault. It helps people to know what they might get into that they might not expect but may be unsafe for them to read.
I think for Val's posts it might be easier and more efficient to just put: CW: You will hate Mark even more.
Unfortunately most everything I write is CW TW. It’s the nature of anything posted by anyone who made it out of Scientology. That right there should be a warning to anyone who is thinking about going near Scientology.
That way if I'm not ready to get angry I can wait. :)
I swear, each time I think there's no way it could get worse (just like with CoS), your next post comes out. You are truly one amazing, strong survivor.
This made me cry. But I know exactly what you mean with "mind flip" ... the light finally pours in. Kudos for sharing your story. I'm glad you're around to tell it.
Me too. It’s been so much fun.
Valerie, your writing is wonderful. You put the reader right in the action and your mindset. "Once you leave, you have to reset your entire brain." Every former $cientologist has to go through the same experience. They have to learn to see the world in a different way. Some may gravitate to the Freezone, but from what I have seen, most just get on with their lives and try to flush out the $cienoverse that was installed in their heads. As many have said, having a good life is the best revenge.
Your story is a true tale of survival and a real inspiration Val. I wouldn't be surprised if Mark is in prison if he's even still alive. When I was in Scientology, I experienced a lot of pressure when they tried to recruit me as a full time staff member. This pressure would often become intimidation the more I resisted. I remember every time I walked out of my local org how much more relaxed I felt. I felt tense being inside a place where there were so many people I disliked. I discovered Scientology in 1981 and finally left for good in 1988. To this day I'm kicking myself for taking 7 years to come to my senses. I should have realized much sooner when it was time to leave.
Mark is not in a prison built by anyone but himself. According to my son, he lives miserably in his beautiful home with his wife. They don’t like each other, yet neither of them can leave the house. Their groceries are delivered. He has had at least a dozen stents and three strokes. He can’t walk across the room. The only time he leaves the house is in an ambulance. He has a villa in Bali that he can’t visit. He is right where he needs to be. I did not do anything to him so I have no guilt for how his life is.
Thanks for the info Val. I'm not at all surprised at the state Mark is in now. I firmly believe that everyone reaps what they sow.
Mark is alive and not in civilian law enforcement prison. He is still in Scientology (and that mental prison) with his current wife, he is housebound, and they both have big health issues. [Though I would not be unhappy if Val came on to say that he finally died since her last post.]
Curious, Mark is not in Scientology, he is on the Scientology enemies list. His whole family left years ago.
Wait, what? Is this new? [Aside: Does this mean there's an actual enemies list you can look at?]
I saw it years ago, I don’t think they publish it now. I haven’t been able to locate one. I think by now almost everyone is an enemy. The good guys list would be shorter.
Thanks for the information. Mark had to be a despicable person who must have been as cruel and violent as David Miscavige.
Love your article, Val, and, as Robin said, glad you’re here to tell it.
Dearest Val, my eyes are still filled with tears at the details you shared. You are a strong woman and even if you wouldn't have had children, you would have made it through. I was abused growing up and always felt it was my fault, so it's not just the conditioning of Scientology, but narcissists, in which I was raised by 2 of them.
It breaks my heart you were beaten and abused by someone you thought loved you. Thank you for your articles and sharing your heartbreaking experiences.
I love you 💜
As you well know, you don’t feel strong while you’re in the middle of it, but it takes something inside of you to keep you going. I’m glad you survived too.
I so agree with you. I couldn't believe I made it to 18 years of age, but took many more years for the scars to heal. We are strong, Val, hear us ROAR! haha
Thanks for the back story on Jim Good. He was very charismatic although he was considered a womanizer. My guess is Joava Good started that rumor. Stats and Admin tech were long gone from the company by 1985. I remember Deb, she was always fun to talk to. Jill’s husband Dave came to work for the company around 1985. He felt that the admin tech was outdated and had no respect for Hubbard. Looking back, it was a crazy place to work. Jill Rich was one of my favorites but i don’t think she did Scientology anymore. Midge Hunt, Nick and Judi Light were there for a short while also. They were old time Scientologists.
I knew Nicci Good as well. I always felt bad for her as i felt she was Joava’s child and other than writing checks for her school, i could tell she was his step child. She had all sorts of issues. I remember Lisa Presley calling the house once and i picked up the phone. I said, hello. Lisa just said, put Nicci on. I asked who the hell was this as i knew it was one of Nicci’s friends. She said, Lisa Presley, put Nicci on. I told her to learn some manner and etiquette and ask nicer. She in a snotty way said, may i please speak with Nicci. I eventually became good friends with Danny Keough who was Lisa’s high boyfriend and met Lisa again when she was pregnant at their home.
Your story is amazing Val and you tell it well. I’m sure our paths crossed now although you were leaving and i was slowly getting in. I vaguely remember hearing about a drama between Jim and a Telephone Marketing Inc. employee. TMI, the name before it became Bill Good Marketing and after Bill Good and Associates.
Joava loved a good rumor. The truth had little to do with it. She invented her own truth. Jim was less of a womanizer than Joava made him seem, he was a fierce advocate of women’s rights in a time when we had few, so he had women friends. Joava always saw the worst in people.
I would love to see Nicci again. I liked her a lot. She was not treated the same as the golden child Jenni by any stretch of the imagination. The Goods always ingratiated themselves in the higher circles of Scientology. I hope Lisa got Nicci out.
I just found her. She’s Nicci Stokes on Facebook. She’s still connected to all the family members so i assume she’s still in.
Ok then I won’t reach out to her. In my next installment I talk about her for a second. I hope she’s UTR and reading this. I left Facebook in July 2022 after deleting everything I had posted on my personal feed before leaving. I wish her joy.
When I do content I try to put trigger/content warnings upfront, e.g. CW: transphobia or TW: domestic violence, sexual assault. It helps people to know what they might get into that they might not expect but may be unsafe for them to read.
I think for Val's posts it might be easier and more efficient to just put: CW: You will hate Mark even more.
Unfortunately most everything I write is CW TW. It’s the nature of anything posted by anyone who made it out of Scientology. That right there should be a warning to anyone who is thinking about going near Scientology.
Agree. Maybe just CW: Mark.
That way if I'm not ready to get angry I can wait. :)
I swear, each time I think there's no way it could get worse (just like with CoS), your next post comes out. You are truly one amazing, strong survivor.
I'm stunned. I can only appreciate people like the lawyer Ken who visited you in the hospital and helped you start again.
Over and over, outsiders, outside professionals, have to intervene to alleviate Scientology's harm.
Can't thank outsiders and outside professionals enough.
I so wish that Silvertails books publishes your story.
Val's writing is riveting.