Watch out, suckers: Scientology is testing a new come-on!
We have said it many times: No matter how tough things become for Scientology, it never gives up.
And one area where Scientology has struggled is recruitment. The word is out like never before what a toxic organization Scientology is, and so tried-and-true approaches to roping in new public like the “personality test” and “stress test” that you see being given out at tables stacked with E-meters and copies of Dianetics are just not bringing in folks like they used to.
We have wondered if church leader David Miscavige might experiment with something new as his organizations struggles to recover from the pandemic. And this week, we think we may have found it.
In a new press release, Scientology boasts about having a table at the Ultimate Women’s Expo in Los Angeles this month. It was the usual blah-blah, but what caught our attention was the photo that Scientology posted with the release…
Um, say what? A “Free Emotion Check”?
We asked Claire Headley, has Miscavige come up with a new parlor trick?
“100 percent, in my opinion,” she said. “I’d be willing to bet DM has brought in some new flashy PR firm to change their approach, given that their effectiveness and statistics are no doubt abominably abysmal.”
Chris Shelton also gave us his thoughts about what was in the photo.
“They've changed the message from ‘Free Stress Test’ to ‘Free Emotion Check,’ but they have the E-meters out and the Dianetics book out and appear to be using them in a very similar setup to how they've always done stress testing, basically using an E-meter to get a response and then convince a person that indicates ‘stress’ or a problem of some kind and they need to address that immediately,” he says.
“Sometimes when programs or gimmicks like the ‘free stress test’ become boring or
uninviting, people in marketing or promotional areas of Scientology will try piloting new ideas, and this may be one of them. Somehow you’d think in these times, a free stress test would be an easy sell, but maybe that gimmick has run its course now. There is a test in Scientology to rate your emotional level on their ‘tone scale’ but that's not what looks like is happening here, so I think this is just a re-phrasing of their existing scheme.”
Well, whether it’s a repackaging of their previous come-ons, or something new with the E-meter, we look forward to hearing from someone who has gone though it.
Drop us a line if you’ve had the Free Emotion Check!
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Group Therapy: Our round table of rowdy regulars on the week’s news
"It's a dead clam party
Who could ask for more?
Come on in and leave
Your emotions at the door
Your emotions at the door. "
(Sincere apologies to Oingo Boingo)
Believe in yourself.
Hmm.
It never works not to just be open about Xenu's body-thetans exorcism on OT 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7.
They should just say:
"Find out the truth about Xenu and body-thetans, and how exorcising your body-thetans will help you be a single and better you."
They are afraid to overturn the arbitraries Hubbard left them about never being upfront about the two phase quackery of Scientology.
a) First phase is a person's "own" "case" soul debilitating memories alleviation.
b) Second phase is the exorcism phase of OT 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7 alleviating their hitchhiking "OT case" which is leaking into their minds from the body-thetans whom Xenu mass murdered/implanted/dumped onto earth which infest all humans.
Scientology's a two phase quackery soul memories alleviation practice. First you get up to the level of dealing with past lives debilitating soul memories. Second you peel off the body-thetans whom Xenu mass implanted with the R6 implants which still leak into your mind until you do the full lineup of the 5 exorcism levels of Scientology which are OT 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7.
Scientology's a whole lotta past lives soul memories alleviating on phase 1. Then on phase 2 it's an even longer haul alleviating/freeing the R6 implanted body-thetans/invisible-souls infesting your human body.
It's a whole long runway of quackery.
That's what they should just tell the public, and see if some people are game for that, and at the fixed donation prices they are selling this quackery at.
Chuck Beatty
ex 75 to 03